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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22457305">In Time</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/travelingpsycho/pseuds/sparklepox'>sparklepox (travelingpsycho)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Multi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:40:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>39,271</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22457305</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/travelingpsycho/pseuds/sparklepox</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Prince Jongdae has been in love with his advisor, Minseok, for years and hopes to find a way to marry him someday. What will happen when his mother, the queen, proposes an arranged marriage to Prince Baekhyun?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen, Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Minseok | Xiumin, Byun Baekhyun/Kim Minseok | Xiumin, Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Minseok | Xiumin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>64</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>186</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Jongdae</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>With thanks to <a href="https://twitter.com/xingkais/status/1118526444127309825?s=20">this tweet</a> for the inspiration and a nice visual (though this is not modern royalty).</p><p>I worked hard on my naming of places, but I don't actually know Korean. Please don't laugh too hard if I ended up with something weird.</p><p>I will be posting chapters as I write, but I have a good chunk done already, so you can be reasonably confident that I really will finish it, and do so in a timely fashion.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jongdae's guards and servants are all used to Minseok coming to his chambers in the evening, after all their duties for the day are concluded. He has his own wing of the castle, so there's no one else around to see and wonder why an advisor is coming to the prince alone at the end of the day. Even if they did, Jongdae could make excuses. Minseok is one of his most trusted advisors, and everyone knows they're close friends, at least to the extent that anyone can be friends with a prince. It's a little unusual but not untoward for Minseok to visit him.</p><p>	What is untoward is what happens when Minseok comes to visit. Sometimes all they do is talk, but they talk freely and casually, sometimes banishing the servants and the two guards who stay with Jongdae even here to just outside the door so the conversation is truly private in a way precious few things in Jongdae's life are. Sometimes, usually when they're alone but not always, because Jongdae trusts in the discretion of those who attend him, they'll sit closer than a prince should with anyone. Maintaining a formal distance between himself and others has been drilled into Jongdae, so even when they do nothing more than sit, it feels special.</p><p>	And many nights, like tonight, they'll eventually retreat to Jongdae's bedroom. When they first got together, Jongdae was shy in his inexperience—Minseok is two years older, and because he's not royalty, he had more freedom to explore—but after more than four years, he's comfortable with Minseok and confident in himself. He loves kissing Minseok, loves the contrast between his small size and his strong body, loves the patient and determined way Minseok approaches sex (like he does everything else), so that it always makes Jongdae feel so good.</p><p>	In the aftermath tonight, Jongdae holds onto Minseok the way he only does in bed, arms around his chest and head resting on his shoulder. Minseok's thumb absently strokes his lower back, and Jongdae smiles against his skin. "What if I just don't let you leave, hyung?" (Jongdae only ever uses the familiar term in private, when they let themselves forget that Jongdae is a prince who is never supposed to subordinate himself to non-royalty, even is terms of age hierarchy.)</p><p>	"You can try, but I don't think your parents would appreciate that." Minseok wouldn't appreciate it either, Jongdae knows, and so he would never really try to hold him back. It's an honor for Minseok to be chosen as part of the delegation to inspect and ceremonially open the new fort on the southern border, one he's eager to prove himself worthy of. "Besides, it's only two weeks—three at most. We've been apart that long before."</p><p>	"You could at least pretend that you'll miss me." Jongdae is only teasing; he knows Minseok feels the same as he does.</p><p>	"I will, I will." Minseok kisses Jongdae's forehead. "I'll be back before you know it. But don't have so much fun you forget to miss me back."</p><p>	"Never." Jongdae captures Minseok's lips, then whines when he starts to get up as soon as the kiss is over.</p><p>	"We leave first thing in the morning," Minseok reminds him. "I need to finish getting ready." Minseok never spends the night anyway, but usually he'll stay a little longer before going home.</p><p>	"Oh, all right." Jongdae gets up without further protest and picks up his discarded clothes, while Minseok does the same. Once they're dressed, he claims one more heated kiss and then a tight hug. "Have a great time, and come back to me safe."</p><p>	"I will," Minseok assures him.</p><p>	Jongdae sees him out and says goodbye with a more formal, "Take care!" at the outer door. He keeps himself busy until it's time to sleep, but as he lays down in the bed that's always seemed far too big for one person, he can't help thinking how nice it would be to have Minseok sleep beside him, and to wake up to a soft and sleepy Minseok every morning.</p><p>	<i>Maybe someday,</i> he thinks. Jongdae will be king next year, once his mother reaches the traditional age for a monarch to step down. Being with someone of Minseok's standing won't be any more appropriate for a king than it is for a prince, but as king, Jongdae will have more power. If there's a way to make it possible for them to be together, he'll find it. That's the hope that has sustained them until now, and he's not going to let go of it. It's perhaps a foolish thing to be as a prince, but Jongdae is a romantic. He believes that he and Minseok belong together, and that somehow, it will happen.</p><p> </p><p>	Minseok and the rest of the delegation leave soon after sunrise, before Jongdae is even awake. The journey to the fort location takes just under a week, but snow in the mountains may interfere at this time of year. It's best to make the most of their travel days so they can arrive on time. Jongdae smiles to himself as his servants dress him, imagining Minseok in the snowy mountains. He doesn't do well with cold, always bundled up well through the winter. It makes him look even younger than he usually does, like a cute little boy drowning in heavy coats. He hopes, though, that snow won't slow them down enough that they're not home before Minseok's birthday in three weeks.</p><p>	Although Minseok plays a significant role in Jongdae's daily life as an advisor, a friend and a romantic partner, things aren't so different with him gone. Jongdae has breakfast with his parents and his grandmother, then joins his parents in meeting with the queen's advisors. (Although Jongdae's father formally stepped down from being King when he turned fifty two years ago, he still participates in the running of the kingdom behind the scenes.) </p><p>	He has his usual sparring session with his personal guards, a meeting over lunch with his own advisors and the captain of the guard (which is typically supervised by the crown prince), his customary weekly afternoon tea with his grandmother, and on and on right up to dinner, when they entertain a crowd of nobles as they generally do. Jongdae is aware of Minseok's absence among his advisors, but otherwise, it feels like a normal day, like any other.</p><p>	In the evening, though, as he retires to his chambers to relax, it sinks in that he can't anticipate Minseok coming by tonight, or any other night for the next few weeks. He doesn't come to Jongdae every night, but more often than not, never missing more than a day or two if they're both in town (as they usually are). It's true that they've been apart for longer than this before—when Minseok accompanied his mother to help his sister after the birth of her daughter, or when Jongdae traveled to Fugang—but it's been over a year since the last time and Jongdae has become accustomed to seeing Minseok every day.</p><p>	He could seek out other company if he really wanted it, but for tonight, at least, Jongdae only occupies himself with a book until it's time for bed. <i>One day past,</i> he tells himself as he spreads out in his big bed. <i>The rest will go by quickly and Minseok will be back before you know it.</i> Content with that thought, he easily falls asleep.</p><p> </p><p>	The days do indeed pass quickly, and soon it's one week since Minseok and the others left. Like every other day, Jongdae gets up that morning and joins his parents and his grandmother for breakfast. They make casual conversation, insomuch as anything royalty does is casual, for a few minutes until the queen says, "We have something to discuss with you, Jongdae." Judging by his father and grandmother's expressions, "we" includes them. Jongdae wonders what they've been planning behind his back, but he's not particularly alarmed. His parents have never given him cause to doubt their judgment.</p><p>	"As you know," the queen says, "our latest treaty with Gwanguk has held for eight years, and we're hopeful that it will continue to do so. However, Prince Baekbeom is due to ascend to the throne only two years after you do, and the shifting of powers would be a likely time for unrest to develop. With that in mind, King Chanwoo has reached out to discuss ways to assure a more permanent reconciliation."</p><p>	Jongdae is beginning to guess where this is going, and he doesn't like it. There's no requirement in Haeguk that a ruler be married upon taking the throne, though it is expected eventually. While his parents have occasionally raised the subject of marriage or found excuses to introduce him to princesses of nearby kingdoms, they haven't pressured him. Even with his ascension a year and a half away, he'd been hopeful that he'd be able to postpone marriage until he became king and could insist on marrying Minseok.</p><p>	But their truce with Gwanguk is important. The country consists of four northern provinces that declared independence nearly a century ago. A bloody war failed to win them back, and Haeguk was forced to recognize their sovereignty, but regular clashes followed. Jongdae's mother has made it a personal goal to heal old wounds and establish a lasting peace, and the most recent treaty was a significant victory for her over the extreme factions in both countries who weren't ready for peace. Cementing that truce through a political marriage could be just what they need for the queen to accomplish her goal before the end of her reign, but it's the last thing Jongdae wants.</p><p>	He's not surprised when the queen says, "Prince Baekhyun is the same age as you and open to the possibility of marrying into our family. Marrying a male will raise some complications as to the matter of an heir, but I believe that dealing with those is worth the benefit this marriage would bring." He is, however, surprised when she continues, "The prince was due to leave Sangyeong yesterday and we expect him to arrive in three days."</p><p>	"He's already on his way?" Jongdae can't hide his shock at that. He'd assumed this discussion was only just beginning. It's not like his parents to hide things from him, not something so significant to him personally. Could it be that they know about him and Minseok and deliberately sprung this on him while Minseok is away, or is it only that he's shown himself reluctant to be married and they didn't want to give him a chance to object?</p><p>	"Yes." The Queen's expression softens, and now she looks more like Jongdae's mother than the powerful ruler of the kingdom. "Understand that this is not a commitment from either side, only a chance for the two of you to get to know each other. If you find the prince unbearable, or if he's unwilling, or if King Chanwoo changes his mind, we'll find another way to keep the peace. But please do give him a chance." <i>You know what this means to me,</i> she doesn't have to say because Jongdae already knows.</p><p>	"Yes, mother," Jongdae answers politely. He hopes it's not obvious how conflicted he is about this, or at least that nobody (besides his guards and servants standing quietly out of the way) knows <i>why</i> he's so conflicted about the prospect of marrying Prince Baekhyun. Nobody says anything, at least, and that's all he can ask for.</p><p>	As he leaves after breakfast, Jongdae wishes desperately that he could go to Minseok and talk to him about this. It wouldn't change the situation, but maybe Minseok would have an idea for what to do, or at least Jongdae could get telling him about it over with. He doesn't want to wait and wonder for at least a week how Minseok will react, and it also feels like a betrayal that he'll meet the prince before Minseok even knows he's coming. It's not his choice, but that doesn't make him feel any better.</p><p>	There's tension when Jongdae returns to his chambers after breakfast to brush up on his knowledge of Gwanguk. It's clear he's upset, and his guards and attendant know why. They understand, even if they never speak of it directly, how important Minseok is to Jongdae, and why the prospect of being pushed into a political marriage is so painful for him. Jongdae doubts they'll say anything unless he does, and part of him wants to talk to <i>someone</i> if he can't talk to Minseok, but he's afraid to put it all into words.</p><p>	He sits down and rubs his hands over his face, at a loss for what to do. There's silence until his personal attendant, Kyungsoo, asks, "Your majesty, is there anything I can do for you?" It's not an unusual question for him to ask, but Jongdae assumes that he doesn't mean it the way he normally would, that he's offering comfort without being the one to bring up the forbidden subject of his relationship with Minseok.</p><p>	Jongdae drops his hands and gives Kyungsoo a weak smile. He trusts Kyungsoo, who has been with him since they were little more than children. He knows Jongdae's secrets and won't judge him, but he doesn't know where to begin. "It's a momentous occasion, isn't it, a prince of Gwanguk coming all the way to Gimgyeong," he says, as if that's what he's really thinking about. What he means, indirectly, is that he knows that this is more important than his feelings, and that it won't make him feel any better to talk about those feelings.</p><p>	"Yes, it is," Kyungsoo agrees.</p><p>	It looks like he wants to say more, but Jongdae cuts in with as much cheerfulness as he can muster, "Come, help me find my notes about the royal family of Gwanguk. I only have three days to prepare."</p><p>	There's no use getting ahead of himself when Baekhyun isn't even here yet and Minseok won't be home for at least a week and a half. He'll focus on what needs to be done, and deal with the rest of it as it comes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Baekhyun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The road from Sangyeong to Gimgyeong isn't long, but no travel is particularly pleasant in early March. They're taking the coastal route to avoid the mountains, which means there's very little snow, but the blustery wind off the sea chills Baekhyun to the bone. He wishes his first visit to Haeguk could have been delayed to a more pleasant season, but he understands that his father and brother didn't want to wait and risk Prince Jongdae marrying someone else, with his ascension coming up late next year.</p><p>	There's not much to occupy him as he rides along, so he runs over the same thoughts he's had since he learned about the plan to marry him off to Haeguk's only remaining prince. He wonders what Jongdae thinks of it: if he hates Gwanguk and wants nothing to do with them, or if he has another marriage prospect he'd prefer, or if he's uncomfortable with or simply uninterested in marrying another man. </p><p>	For his part, Baekhyun doesn't hate Haeguk, not really, but he's nervous about moving to a country that was at war with his less than a decade ago. He doesn't have anyone in particular that he'd like to marry, but he'd hoped to have more time to look and more choice in the matter. As for marrying a man, well, he's not adamantly opposed to it, but his partners until now have all been women and he's never felt a desire to look elsewhere.</p><p>	All in all, he's not excited about it, but he's a prince and he'll do his duty. Officially, this is only an introductory visit, a chance to meet Jongdae and learn about Haeguk and explore the possibility of a political marriage. Unofficially, unless Jongdae is utterly horrible or Haeguk double crosses them, Baekhyun knows he's expected to win over the prince and the rest of the royal family and convince them that the marriage should happen. Gwanguk has had enough of war with Haeguk, and he needs to do his part to end it for good.</p><p>	They make camp that night with the expectation that they'll arrive at Gimgyeong tomorrow. Baekhyun is more nervous than he's willing to admit, but at least he can look forward to sleeping in a real bed in a warm room, whatever else the day may bring. For now, he sits close to the fire while the one attendant he brought with him, Yixing, prepares a meal. The soldiers accompanying them tend to the camp, while Baekhyun's lone guard, Jongin, hovers over him.</p><p>	"So tomorrow you meet your prince, your majesty," says Yixing as they all sit down to dinner. His smile is gentle; he knows how Baekhyun feels about this, though he won't say it in front of the soldiers. Baekhyun trained with the soldiers back home, so they're familiar, but he's not comfortable with them like he is with his personal attendant and longtime guards. He wishes he'd been allowed to bring all of them instead of only Jongin, but he understands why his father felt that he would be safer with fully trained soldiers.</p><p>	"Do you know what Prince Jongdae is like?" asks Taemin, one of the soldiers.</p><p>	"Not really." Baekhyun gratefully drinks some of the hot soup Yixing gave him, and warms his hands on the bowl. "My brother met Prince Jongdeok once when they were children, but I've never been to Haeguk and Jongdae has never been to Gwanguk."</p><p>	"Prince Jongdae was the younger brother, right?" asks another of the soldiers, Kibum. They really should know these things, but he's found that common soldiers rarely concern themselves with the details of their enemy.</p><p>	"Right," Baekhyun confirms. "He only became the crown prince when his brother died just before the last war, so nine years ago now, I suppose." </p><p>	If Jongdae's brother had died in the war, this marriage would be a much harder sell, but he died of a sudden illness that couldn't be blamed on anyone. Baekhyun remembers hearing about it then and thinking about how he would feel if his brother died and he suddenly found himself heir to the throne. Any sympathy he might have felt was lost when war broke out between their countries mere weeks later, but he didn't envy Jongdae, not for the new responsibility thrust on his shoulders or for the loss of his only brother.</p><p>	 "Whatever kind of person he is, I have no doubt you will charm him as you do everyone else, your majesty," Yixing says. He means it to be comforting, but Baekhyun holds back a sigh in response. It's true that he's good at making people like him, and he'll do his best to charm Jongdae too, whatever his personal feelings about this potential marriage may be. There's too much at stake not to.</p><p>	Even here, with only a small audience, he has a reputation to uphold, and besides, he doesn't like being gloomy. Fixing a smile on his face, he declares, "Of course I will."</p><p> </p><p>	They get on the road early the next morning, and the sun is nearly straight above when they crest a hill and Gimyeong suddenly comes into view. Baekhyun's heard of the golden-walled castle, though few living residents of Gwanguk have seen it, and he has to admit that it is beautiful on this cold but sunny nearly-spring day. The castle sits on high cliffs above the ocean, with the town spreading inland around it. It's a very defensible position, which is exactly why the only attempt Gwanguk made to conquer Haeguk's capital city failed miserably despite a lengthy siege.</p><p>	Since they haven't been able to permanently end Haeguk's attempts to reclaim Gwanguk through battle, it's time to try a different approach, and that's why Baekhyun's here. He squares his shoulders and says, "Let's hurry. I'm ready to be in that nice, warm castle."</p><p>	The city is farther away than it looks as they ride over the flatter ground leading up to it, but at last, they arrive at the settlements clustered outside the city walls, and then at the main gate. Kibum rides up to announce Baekhyun's arrival, and the soldiers at the gate hurry to clear a path among the curious onlookers. Their party is deliberately small to avoid drawing too much attention during their travels or appearing a threat once they arrive, but Baekhyun imagines that even eight people on horseback isn't the most common sight.</p><p>	One of the guards at the gate bows as Baekhyun and his party ride through, but one glares openly and the others are conspicuously stony faced. Baekhyun expected to face negative reactions here, and he knows they won't be the last. He can handle glaring, and he's protected well enough if anyone should have the foolish idea to do more than glare.</p><p>	An ostensibly polite Haeguk guard escorts them through the city until they reach the golden walls around the castle. They're somewhat less impressive up close, but beautiful nevertheless. Baekhyun's mind is already beyond the walls, though, anticipating his first meeting with the royal family. Queen Inhye agreed to his visit as a potential match for her son, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's happy about it, and there is even less guarantee that Prince Jongdae is. It's important for Baekhyun to make a good first impression, to overcome any reservations they might have.</p><p>	Inside the castle gate, a single man hurries over to them, followed by another man and two women. The first man's fine clothes and the way he bows to Baekhyun, deferent but not too deep, indicate that he isn't royalty but isn't a servant either. He's probably important enough for Baekhyun to want to win him over, at least. "Hello," the man says. "I am Lord Junmyeon, a member of Prince Jongdae's council. He asked that I greet you and see you to the rooms you will be staying in so that you can rest before meeting the royal family at dinner."</p><p>	"I am honored to meet you, Lord Junmyeon," Baekhyun says with a smile. It's deliberate, but also genuine. For all that he's feeling the pressure of his position, he does enjoy meeting new people, and he's very curious about this city and country and all the people in it.</p><p>	Junmyeon smiles back, also seemingly genuine. "The honor is mine," he responds politely. "If you dismount, we will see that your horses are taken care of and your things brought to your chambers. I understand that it was agreed that you would keep three guards with you and the rest will be housed with our soldiers."</p><p>	"That's correct." Baekhyun isn't thrilled about this arrangement, both for his own safety and that of the soldiers, who will be surrounded by less-than-friendly Haeguk soldiers, but he understands why his father felt it was an acceptable risk. He can only hope that the royal family sees the importance of keeping both him and his soldiers safe.</p><p>	Jongin, Kibum and Taemin stay with Baekhyun, while the remaining three soldiers say their goodbyes. Baekhyun and the others follow Junmyeon into the castle. He makes some comments about their surroundings as they go, and Baekhyun only half listens until he says, "Prince Jongdae's chambers are down that hall. You will be staying here in the neighboring wing."</p><p>	"Very nice," Baekhyun says, as he thinks, <i>Making sure we're close together so we have to see each other a lot, I see.</i> He would expect nothing less.</p><p>	The chambers set aside for Baekhyun include one large sitting room with three rooms coming off of it. There are two guards at the main door and four servants, two men and two women, waiting inside. "I'll leave you to rest and return to bring you to dinner in about three hours," Junmyeon says. "Your things should be brought in shortly, and feel free to ask for anything else you need." With a small bow, he takes his leave.</p><p>	Baekhyun can't speak freely in front of the Haeguk servants like he would at home, but he does address his guards. "Discuss among yourselves an appropriate rotation so that I can have two guards with me around the castle and one keeping watch at night." It may be overkill, but he can't take his safety for granted here.</p><p>	With business taken care of, Baekhyun washes off the dirt of travel and takes a short nap so that he'll be full of energy to face whatever happens at dinner tonight. Then the Haeguk servants help him dress. It's not like Baekhyun to be nervous, but his heart beats faster as he thinks about what's ahead. So much is riding on him winning over the royal family of Haeguk, so it's important that he makes a good first impression.</p><p>	He walks into the hall with his best polite, princely smile on his face. Baekhyun is naturally a much more exuberant person, but he's had nearly twenty-four years of experience learning to restrain himself when it matters. Once he sees what kind of person Prince Jongdae is, he'll know to what extent he can let go, but for now, he needs to appear dignified and mature, a solid prospect to marry the prince and rule the kingdom at his side.</p><p>	Most of the people already at the large table stand when Baekhyun enters, but not the royal family, and not, he notices, a few other people scattered around the table. He doesn't let it shake him; it's expected that some, or quite possibly many people in Haeguk won't like him. He needs to do what he can to win them over while remembering that all that really matters is that he convince Jongdae to marry him and Queen Inhye to allow it. </p><p>	He bobs his head far enough for a polite greeting but not so far that he's humbling himself and moves toward the head of the table where the royal family is seated. "Welcome, Prince Baekhyun," the queen greets him. "We are pleased to have you with us."</p><p>	"I am pleased to be here, your highness," Baekhyun responds. "I look forward to becoming acquainted with your great country and its people."</p><p>	The Queen introduces her husband, High Prince Jaeyong, her mother High Princess Dahee, and Prince Jongdae, who flashes Baekhyun a princely smile much like his own. He wonders how much the prince has to restrain himself for a smile like that, or if it comes more naturally to him than it does to Baekhyun. "The remaining guests you can meet during and after dinner," the queen concludes. "Please, have a seat." She gestures to the empty seat next to Jongdae.</p><p>	The prince says nothing as Baekhyun sits beside him, but after the queen calls for the food and the servants begin to bring it out, he turns to Baekhyun. "I am pleased to meet you," Jongdae says. Up close, his smile seems a little too stiff to be genuine. That puts Baekhyun on guard, but he expected that the prince might not like him at first, considering their countries' history. It only means that he'll need to be that much more charming to win Haeguk's prince over. </p><p>	"As am I," Baekhyun responds. "I have heard a great deal about you."</p><p>	"Good things, I hope." Now Jongdae's smile seems a little more real, but only a little.</p><p>	"Many of them." Baekhyun smiles more naturally to show Jongdae that he's sincere when he continues, "But I hope to get to know you myself without any prejudices, one way or another." What he means, but knows better than to say outright, is that he hopes he and Jongdae won't hold past history or any rumors they've heard against each other.</p><p>	Finally, Jongdae's smile looks sincere, if not particularly warm. "I hope so too."</p><p>	They make casual conversation about Baekhyun's travels to Gimgyeong and if he had a chance to settle into his lodgings in the castle. It's all very light, with little potential to offend, though Baekhyun is careful to use the Haeguk name for the disputed borderlands Gwanguk gave up at the end of the last war. It's also very shallow and boring, though they share a few smiles when they occasionally confuse each other with vocabulary and pronunciation differences. </p><p>	As the meal progresses, they discuss some basic, harmless information about the castle and the city, and Jongdae introduces the people around the table, Baekhyun doing his best to remember everything. They finally run out of safe topics and lapse into talking about the weather around dessert. There's a touch of wryness in Jongdae's expression when they get there that Baekhyun likes, because it hints at a sense of humor. He and Jongdae will get along much better if he likes to laugh the way Baekhyun does.</p><p>	Once all the food is cleared away, they get up and mingle. Jongdae makes the first introduction, to a distant cousin and her husband, then leaves Baekhyun to find his own way, speaking to anyone who seems reasonably friendly. None of the conversation is interesting, but it's an opportunity to get to know the people important enough to meet him on his first night here. Baekhyun does enjoy meeting new people, even if these are hardly ideal circumstances for him to make new friends.</p><p>	After an hour or so, Queen Inhye declares that Baekhyun has had a long day and they should let him rest, and everyone begins to leave. Baekhyun moves to do the same, but Jongdae catches him before he does. "I hope you will agree to join me for some breakfast and a tour of the castle and grounds tomorrow," he says. </p><p>	"I look forward to it," Baekhyun responds. He's not necessarily enthusiastic, but it will be nice to talk to Jongdae in a more relaxed environment, and he's curious to see more of the castle. Barring any catastrophes, he'll be spending at least a few months here, and much longer if he does end up marrying Jongdae. He'd like to get a better idea of what awaits him, when it comes to both castle life and Jongdae.</p><p>	Back in his sitting room, Baekhyun sinks into the couch, finding that he is indeed tired. He can't really say what kind of impression he made at his first meeting with the royal family, but it seems to have gone well enough. As for the first impression they made on him, well, Jongdae seems reasonably pleasant, though there's no telling how much of that is real. He's pleasant to look at too, if you're into that kind of thing, but it doesn't matter if Baekhyun is or not. He doesn't have to be attracted to Jongdae, or even to like him—though of course it would be nice if he is. To secure peace between their kingdoms, he only needs to marry Jongdae.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Jongdae</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>IMPORTANT NOTE: So in my perpetual sleepiness, I somehow managed to post chapter 4 (the Minseok chapter) instead of chapter 3 (another Jongdae chapter). This is the real chapter 3 and the previously posted Minseok chapter will be re-uploaded as chapter 4 (as it should be).</p><p>(If you didn't read chapter 3 before February 11, you can ignore this note entirely.)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jongdae tries to raise his spirits as he makes his way to breakfast with Baekhyun. He's no happier about this potential marriage to Baekhyun now that he's here and the prospect is much more real, but that's not Baekhyun's fault and Jongdae shouldn't take it out on him. Besides, they've only just met, and it's not decided yet that they'll get married. There's no harm in trying to befriend Baekhyun, and that could be beneficial for the relationship between their countries even if marriage doesn't happen in the end. (That's what Jongdae tells himself, at least, ignoring the nagging feelings of guilt telling him he's betraying Minseok.)</p><p>	Baekhyun is already seated at the table when Jongdae comes in. "Good morning," he says with a smile.</p><p>	"Good morning." Jongdae sits down across from him. "I hope you slept well."</p><p>	"I did, thank you. We camped out on the way here to keep word that I was traveling from spreading, so it was wonderful to sleep in a bed again."</p><p>	They continue making small talk as servants pour tea for Jongdae and refill Baekhyun's cup. Jongdae takes a drink as Baekhyun says, "I hope we can enjoy spending time together, without feeling too much pressure over every interaction. Nothing about our future or that of our kingdoms needs to be decided quickly."</p><p>	Jongdae nods. It's a fair point to be made, though he wonders if it's also an indication that Baekhyun is less than enthusiastic about the possibility of marrying him. "Of course. Whatever happens, I would like it if we could become friends." </p><p>	He means it, in a distant sort of way. Baekhyun is the same age as him, and prince of a country that's not as different from Haeguk as they would like to pretend. It's a rare opportunity to befriend someone who can understand what it's like to be Jongdae, even if he's not the crown prince. However, whether Baekhyun is, personally, someone Jongdae would want as a friend remains to be seen.</p><p>	"As would I," Baekhyun agrees.</p><p>	Despite their words, things continue to be stiff and formal over breakfast. Jongdae hopes that they'll be able to relax around each other in time, but it’s difficult to know when and how to make that change, and to what extent. There are few people around whom Jongdae can really relax, and he may not ever get there with Baekhyun.</p><p>	At least once they start their tour of the castle, Jongdae has plenty to say, though he’s cautious about what information he shares. He hopes that Baekhyun being here is an indication that Gwanguk is genuinely willing to trust them and keep the peace they’ve established, but there’s the possibility of betrayal, now or in the future. It’s much too soon to give away all their secrets.</p><p>	If Baekhyun is aware that Jongdae is holding back, he doesn’t show it, nodding along and asking polite questions as appropriate. He appears genuinely interested, which could be real. Jongdae would be interested too, if he had the opportunity to visit Gwanguk for the first time in his life and learn about the former enemy he’s heard so much about over the years.</p><p>	Everything is polite and proper for an interaction between princes who’ve only just met until they’re out in the garden. It’s still too cold for there to be much to see, but the plum trees are beginning to bloom and Baekhyun admires them with enthusiasm. “Are they—“ he starts to ask, turning to Jongdae, but he doesn’t get any farther because he trips over a rock and falls to the ground with an undignified yelp.</p><p>	Jongdae has had many years as a prince to learn restraint, but it’s so unexpected, so ridiculous when they’re both trying so hard to make a good impression on each other, that it’s all he can do to choke back a laugh, not wanting to offend Baekhyun. To his surprise, however, Baekhyun bursts out laughing, still awkwardly splayed out on the dusty ground. It fades into a more restrained chuckle as he gets to his feet and dusts himself off, but he’s still smiling. His eyes twinkle as they catch Jongdae’s, and Jongdae can’t help smiling back. </p><p>	“I assure you this is not something I do often,” Baekhyun says, his words polite but his tone wry.</p><p>	“Only on special occasions?” Jongdae teases back before he can think better of it.</p><p>	Luckily, Baekhyun doesn’t seem to mind, his grin widening. “Yes, like meeting potential future husbands. I hope you will not think less of me for it.”</p><p>	<i>I like you better for it,</i> Jongdae thinks but doesn’t say. Not because Baekhyun tripped, but because he reacted to it with good humor. It’s a good indication that, given time, he and Baekhyun will be able to get along well. “Not at all,” Jongdae says. “I have fallen afoul of a rock or two myself.”</p><p>	Judging by his reaction, Baekhyun is also liking what he sees of Jongdae. “Well, let’s be more careful from now on,” he says, still smiling.</p><p>	Their conversation after that remains relatively formal, but Jongdae feels that something has shifted, that they’re both feeling a little more comfortable with each other and more optimistic about their future. It doesn’t make Jongdae want to marry Baekhyun any more than he did before, but it does make him somewhat more enthusiastic about spending the coming months together. Part of him feels guilty for that, like he owes it to Minseok to dislike Baekhyun, but that’s a childish attitude that Minseok would probably disapprove of if he were here. It doesn’t mean that he <i>likes</i> Baekhyun, only that he thinks he’ll enjoy getting to know him.</p><p> </p><p>	In the days that follow, Jongdae and Baekhyun spend a great deal of time together. The Queen has asked Jongdae to focus on helping Baekhyun adjust to Haeguk for this first week, so his usual duties are set aside to keep the prince company. Thankfully, it doesn’t feel like a terrible imposition as Jongdae and Baekhyun grow more comfortable with each other and even start to enjoy each other’s company. By his third day in the castle, Baekhyun begins testing the waters with cautious jokes, and by the fourth, Jongdae lets himself laugh at them.</p><p>	In the middle of the fifth day, over a shared lunch, Baekhyun says, “I am glad that we seem well matched—to get along with each other during this time, that is. I was afraid that I might have a very dull time here if you were less than interesting.” He smiles to show he doesn’t mean any offense by it.</p><p>	“Did you have some cause to expect I would be boring?” Jongdae asks. Baekhyun splutters, making him laugh. “I’m glad too. I hope that since we’re the same age and we’re both princes, we can relax and not stand on ceremony so much.”</p><p>	“Do you think I make jokes when I’m standing on ceremony?” Without waiting for an answer, Baekhyun continues, “I’d like that, though. I haven’t had a chance to befriend any princes besides my brother.”</p><p>	Jongdae nods, wondering if he’s imagining the slight tension in the atmosphere. Baekhyun’s brother isn’t a sensitive subject, but Jongdae’s is, and he hasn’t come up in conversation yet. There’s no reason to bring him up now either, so Jongdae only says, “Neither have I.” He’s had other friends, but not many, and none who entirely understand his position. Baekhyun won’t either, because he’s not the heir to the throne, but more than almost anyone else.</p><p>	“Not, of course, that we have to be friends,” Baekhyun quickly adds, with a laugh that’s just this side of awkward. “But I would be happy if we could be.”</p><p>	Being friends with Baekhyun won’t be a simple thing, both because of the history between their countries and because of the expectations on them for marriage, but Jongdae has to admit that the idea does appeal to him, in spite of everything. “So would I,” he agrees.</p><p> </p><p>	At the end of Baekhyun’s first week in the castle, he and Jongdae join the royal family and a select few others for dinner. “How are you enjoying your time here so far?” the queen asks him.</p><p>	“Very well, thank you, your majesty. Prince Jongdae has been excellent company and has taught me a great deal about Haeguk and its people.”</p><p>	“I am glad to hear it. We hope for you to feel at home in the castle for as long as you are here.”</p><p>	“That is very kind of you, your majesty.”</p><p>	It’s interesting to Jongdae to notice how much more restrained Baekhyun’s smile looks now, compared to when it’s just the two of them. They’ve gotten comfortable with each other quickly, despite their differences. There are cultural differences, though Gwanguk is not <i>so</i> different from Haeguk, and also differences in their personalities. Baekhyun is louder than Jongdae, and more prone to joking, with a brash confidence tempered by an endearing sort of awkwardness, as though he’s overcompensating for some insecurities that even he doesn’t acknowledge. It’s strange, also, that Jongdae’s come to understand him that much already—if indeed he’s read Baekhyun right—but he’s glad of it, because he likes what he sees.</p><p>	“Have you been to the royal baths yet?” Jongdae’s grandmother, the High Princess asks.</p><p>	“Not yet,” Baekhyun replies. He shoots a subtly curious glance at Jongdae, as though wondering if there’s any reason that was left out of his tour. There isn’t particularly, but Jongdae hadn’t thought of taking him there when they’ve only known each other for a week.</p><p>	“You should go with Jongdae tonight,” the queen suggests. “It is a wonderful way to relax after a long day.”</p><p>	“I would like that, your highness.” Baekhyun looks over at Jongdae again, and Jongdae smiles to reassure him that he isn’t opposed to the idea.</p><p>	The conversation moves in other directions and Jongdae doesn’t think about it further, but he does later as he and Baekhyun return to their chambers to rest before going to the royal baths. The baths, which are drawn from natural hot springs, are divided into three sections, one for each generation of the royal family, with guests rarely being invited in. Jongdae used to bathe with his brother before he died, though Jongdeok wasn't particularly fond of the baths. Since then, he’s only taken one person to the baths with him: Minseok. It doesn’t have to mean anything that he’s taking Baekhyun, especially since it wasn’t his idea, but it still makes Jongdae feel guilty.</p><p>	Minseok has been gone for two and a half weeks now, so he could be back at any time. Has he heard yet, from gossip along the road, about Baekhyun coming to Gimgyeong? Is he angry or upset, perhaps thinking that Jongdae hid the news from him before he left? What will he think if he returns tonight and comes looking for Jongdae, only to find that he’s gone to the baths with Baekhyun? He hopes Minseok will understand that Jongdae didn’t ask for this, and that, as much as he’s getting along with Baekhyun so far, he still hopes for a way out of marrying him, but he can’t be sure. He imagines he’d find it hard not to be hurt in Minseok’s place.</p><p>	There’s nothing to be done about that now, though, so Jongdae dresses in a robe and makes his way to the baths. Baekhyun is waiting outside, and he smiles when he sees Jongdae. “I’m very curious about these baths,” he says as they move into the outer area of the baths. “We have some hot springs in Gwanguk, but the closest is half a day’s journey from the castle and we don’t go often.”</p><p>	It’s Jongdae’s habit to leave the servants behind when he comes to the baths, for a little more privacy, so he takes off his robe himself. Baekhyun has the attendant he brought from Gwanguk, Yixing, with him, and the man takes his robe and folds it neatly. Jongdae doesn’t go out of his way to look, but he catches a glimpse of Baekhyun’s body as they make their way through the door to the bath. The prince is well built, with broad shoulders and in contrast to a more delicate waist, and the muscles of a man who doesn't just loll around the castle all day. </p><p>	There’s no harm in noticing that, but Jongdae looks away anyway. He doesn’t know what Baekhyun would think of Jongdae looking at him like that, and he <i>does</i> know how he feels about looking at another man while Minseok is away. Better to avoid it and keep his conscience as clear as it can be under the circumstances.</p><p>	Inside, steam clouds the cool air enough that Jongdae can’t see clearly. Baekhyun waves his hand in front of his face like he’s trying to move the steam away, laughing. “It’s colder than I expected in here."</p><p>	“Get in and you’ll be warm,” Jongdae says.</p><p>	Baekhyun gasps when he sticks one foot in to test the hot water and again when he drops into it, followed by a sound more like a moan as he sinks into it. Jongdae laughs and Baekhyun grins at him, unbothered. It helps Jongdae relax as he joins Baekhyun in the water. This doesn’t need to be anything more or less than it is: two new friends enjoying the hot spring water together, and a prince respectfully showing another prince what makes his home special. There’s nothing he needs to feel awkward or guilty about.</p><p>	They soak in silence for a while until Baekhyun says, “You know, I’ll say this: the castle here is more luxurious than what we have in Sangyeong.”</p><p>	It’s the first such comment he’s made, and Jongdae is surprised that he’s willing to admit that anything about Haeguk is superior to Gwanguk, especially unprompted. “Is it?” he asks neutrally.</p><p>	Baekhyun starts, as though realizing belatedly what he said. “It’s a matter of taste, of course, aside from the luck of having hot springs under your castle. Our castle was originally a lord’s estate, and though it was expanded on, King Chanwoo felt it should be relatively simple in the spirit of our kingdom. I don’t need so much space or elaborate gardens or those golden walls, but I do appreciate this bath.”</p><p>	Jongdae isn’t sure how to tactfully respond to Baekhyun’s opinion of the castle, so instead he comments, “I hope I can travel to Sangyeong someday and see the city and your castle for myself.”</p><p>	“I hope you can too.” Baekhyun’s smile is a little hesitant now, and Jongdae can understand why. They both know what’s at stake here, though they’ve danced around the topic so far. Whether their acquaintance ends in marriage or not, how it proceeds will determine whether their countries remain at peace or not. Will it be enough if they become good friends and serve as a bridge between their two countries in that way? Jongdae can only hope it will be, so that he can marry Minseok and still fulfill his duty as the prince.</p><p>	He doesn’t know what Baekhyun is thinking in the silence that follows. The steam obscures the details of his expression, and Jongdae doesn’t know him well enough to guess at his thoughts anyway. What he says, in the end, is “Thank you for taking good care of me this week. I didn’t know what to expect from Haeguk or from you, but I think we’re off to a good start.”</p><p>	“We are,” Jongdae agrees. The politics behind Baekhyun being here are complicated, and there’s a lot they haven’t addressed personally too, but they’ve laid a good foundation, at least. He hopes that even when Minseok comes back, even when other complications emerge, as they no doubt will, that foundation will help them find a way through it.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Minseok</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>MPORTANT NOTE: So in my perpetual sleepiness, I somehow managed to post chapter 4 (the Minseok chapter) instead of chapter 3 (another Jongdae chapter). The real chapter 3 has been added in the correct place (so go back one chapter and read it if you haven't already), and this is the same Minseok chapter that was previously posted as chapter 3.</p><p>(If you didn't read chapter 3 before February 11, you can ignore this note entirely.)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There’s still a day and a half or so of travel to go before Minseok and the rest of the delegation return to Gimgyeong. He’s enjoyed the opportunity to see unfamiliar parts of the country and he’s appreciative of the honor of representing the royal family, but he’s ready to return to the comforts of home, and to see Jongdae again. He downplayed it before he left, but three weeks does feel like a long time to be apart when he’s used to seeing Jongdae nearly ever day. He’s eager to find out what Jongdae has been doing and tell him about his experience, and hopefully to take Jongdae to bed the night he gets back. It's worked out that they'll arrive home on Minseok's birthday, and he thinks he deserves the present after being away.</p><p>	Tonight, he’ll have to be content with staying in the home of a local noble family that is hosting them. He slept two nights outside and several more in the simple rooms at the southern fort, so he can appreciate a nice room and a comfortable bed, along with a good meal at the lord and lady’s table. The food is good and he enjoys the company for the first few minutes until Lady Hyebin asks, “Have you had news of the prince’s engagement yet?"</p><p>	<i>His what?!</i> Minseok wants to ask, but he manages to hold back, fighting to keep his expression neutral.</p><p>	Instead, another member of the delegation asks, “Prince Jongdae, engaged? There was no word of this before we left."</p><p>	“There is no engagement yet,” Lady Hyebin clarifies, “but we have heard that Prince Baekhyun of Gwanguk has come to Gimgyeong to the explore that possibility."</p><p>	Many of the other guests chime in to say that they weren’t aware of this, but Minseok notices Jungsoon, one of the queen’s advisors, remaining conspicuously silent. Was this planned before they left, then, and just kept quiet? Why the timing, and why was it kept secret from Jongdae’s council? He has too many questions. Could it be that the queen knows about Minseok and Jongdae, and that she deliberately planned this for when Minseok was away? Could it be that Jongdae knew and didn’t tell Minseok? But no, he can’t believe that. Jongdae has never been anything but honest with Minseok, about his intentions for the future and everything else.</p><p>	It’s some comfort that Prince Baekhyun has only been in the castle for a week or so, and that the intention is for him to get to know Jongdae and see what happens, not immediately become engaged. Still, Minseok has always feared that something like this would happen before Jongdae took the throne and could make his own decisions. It will be hard for Jongdae to say no if the queen demands that he proceed with the engagement. Even if she doesn’t, she can pressure Jongdae by reminding him of his duty to the kingdom. A secure peace with Gwanguk would be a great step forward, perhaps one worth breaking Minseok’s heart for (and Jongdae’s too).</p><p>	Now even more so, Minseok wishes he was home. Talking to Jongdae wouldn’t change the situation, but at least he’d be able to understand it fully. At least Jongdae could reassure him—or tell him, if it came to that, that they were done. Minseok doesn’t want that, but he thinks it would be better to know than to spend the next two days or more wondering, until he can find some time alone with Jongdae. There’s nothing to be gained by dwelling on this when he won’t have any answers for now, but it’s not easy to quiet his mind.</p><p> </p><p>	The next day’s travel is even more unpleasant as Minseok’s thoughts keep returning to Jongdae and his new prince companion, with little to distract him on the road. Minseok knows very little about Gwanguk’s younger prince and how he might get along with Jongdae. He <i>does</i> know about Gwanguk’s history with Haeguk, and how beneficial a political marriage could be for cementing a truce that could benefit both countries. Whether Prince Baekhyun and Jongdae are a good match or not, how can Minseok compete with that? He’s not even from an important noble family, let alone royalty. He doesn’t doubt that Jongdae loves him, but that’s not all that matters for a prince.</p><p>	The following day is Minseok's twenty-sixth birthday, but that does nothing to brighten his mood. What a way to celebrate, he thinks, hours on a horse followed by returning to the castle where Jongdae is spending time with his new intended. The only mercy is that this day of travel is relatively short. They arrive at the castle in the late afternoon, and the queen’s chief advisor, Soomi, comes to meet them. “Welcome home,” she says. “I trust that the fort has been successfully opened.”</p><p>	“Yes, it has,” responds Jungsoon. “We are eager to share the news with Queen Inhye.”</p><p>	“The Queen asks that you join the royal family at dinner tonight. In the meantime, you may return to your homes to rest and prepare yourselves,” says Soomi.</p><p>	Minseok yields his horse to a stablehand, and one of the servants who traveled with them helps him carry his bag. He’d like nothing more than to go right to Jongdae, but he would would never cause a scene like that. Instead, he goes to his family home, greets his parents, and washes off the dirt of his travels before dressing for dinner. Minseok and the other advisors are not typically invited to royal dinners outside of special occasions, so it’s a rare honor and he wants to make a good impression. Part of him wants to look good so that Jongdae will pay attention to him instead of Baekhyun, but he knows that’s childish. Whatever will happen with Jongdae now that Minseok is home, it will happen regardless of how well he dresses tonight.</p><p>	In the castle, Minseok joins the rest of the delegation in entering the hall, where they greet the royal family. The Queen formally thanks them for their service and introduces their royal guest, Prince Baekhyun. Minseok tries to listen, but his eyes immediately go to Jongdae sitting at the queen’s side and Baekhyun beside him. Jongdae’s wearing his proper princely smile, but then his gaze finds Minseok’s and it falters slightly. He doesn’t say or do anything, and Minseok wouldn’t expect him to now, but he holds Minseok’s gaze for a moment. Minseok nods, though he doesn’t know himself what he’s trying to say with that. Perhaps only that he knows, and that he understands that this is not the time to figure things out.</p><p>	Even if he did want to talk in front of all these people, there’s no opportunity as Minseok is seated across the large table from Jongdae and Baekhyun. He does watch them as he talks to the people around him, hoping he’s not too obvious about it. He’s surprised and discomfited to see how comfortable they look together, Baekhyun bringing a genuine smile to Jongdae’s face. Jongdae glances over at Minseok a few times, and at a moment when Baekhyun is distracted, he flashes Minseok an apologetic grimace. Minseok smiles in response, not because it’s really okay, but because he doesn’t want to be angry with Jongdae. He doubts he wanted this any more than Minseok does.</p><p>	At the end of dinner, Minseok lingers in the halls until the guests have dispersed, at which point a familiar face approaches him: Jongdae’s attendant, Kyungsoo. “Welcome back, my lord,” Kyungsoo greets him. “Prince Jongdae asks that you join him in his chambers.”</p><p>	“Very well.”</p><p>	Kyungsoo’s face is inscrutable, as it often is, but as they approach Jongdae’s wing of the castle, he adds in a low voice, “It was a surprise to the prince as well, Prince Baekhyun’s arrival. Please do not think otherwise.”</p><p>	“I understand.” Minseok smiles at Kyungsoo, though he doesn’t expect a response. Jongdae’s attendant has kept their secret well, and it’s nice to feel that he supports them even now. It’s also nice, though not unexpected, to have it confirmed that Jongdae didn’t hide this from him.</p><p>	When Minseok steps into Jongdae’s chambers, Jongdae immediately jumps up from the couch. “Minseok!” He dismisses Kyungsoo and the guards with a wave of his hand and waits until they're gone before giving Minseok a tight hug. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs into Minseok’s shoulder. “I didn’t know before you left. I didn’t ask for this.”</p><p>	“I know.” Minseok holds onto Jongdae, though he’s bursting with questions. Hugging Jongdae always feels comfortable, secure, and that’s so much easier than getting answers he’s not sure he wants to hear.</p><p>	Jongdae is the one to pull away first, though he keeps his hands on Minseok’s arms. He looks terribly hesitant, like he doesn’t know what he can or should say in this situation. He sometimes, albeit rarely, shows this kind of weakness in front of Minseok, the way he wouldn't with almost anyone else, but Minseok has never been the cause of him being so uncertain before. </p><p>	In the end, Minseok speaks up instead. “You seem to get along well with Prince Baekhyun.”</p><p>	Jongdae frowns at his words. “It’s not…we do get along, but I don’t…” He pauses, gathering himself. It’s not like Jongdae to be so lost. “Nothing is decided yet. Nothing will be decided for months, at least. And I…I’m not ready to give up on you. On us. Me marrying Baekhyun isn’t the only way to achieve lasting peace.”</p><p>	Hope flares in Minseok, but it feels very fragile. He doesn’t want to give up on Jongdae either, but he also doesn’t want to be responsible for ruining a potential marriage of such political significance. “Do you really think so?”</p><p>	“Yes,” Jongdae answers firmly. “Baekhyun…I do get along with him. I think we could be good friends. And I think, if we could become friends, that that would be enough, and that I could make him understand.” Jongdae moves to hold Minseok’s hands, looking at him hopefully. If he doubts what he’s saying, Minseok can’t see it in his expression.</p><p>	Minseok sighs heavily, then squeezes Jongdae’s hands. “As an advisor, I should tell you to prioritize the country about all else. But…all right. Let’s not give up yet.”</p><p>	Jongdae beams, and how could Minseok say no to him? He’s still worried about the future, but for now, he’ll do his best to be happy with Jongdae. That way, at least, he won’t have to regret that they didn’t try to make it work.</p><p>	With the difficult business out of the way, Jongdae's expression softens as he says, "Happy birthday, hyung. I was worried you wouldn't make it back in time."</p><p>	"How could I miss celebrating with you?" Minseok and Jongdae have never been much for presents—what present could someone like Minseok give a prince who has everything?—but they've managed to celebrate all of Minseok's birthdays and most of Jongdae's together for years now, since even before they started dating four years ago. Especially now, with their relationship suddenly feeling much more precarious, Minseok is glad to be here with Jongdae.</p><p>	"I'm glad you have your priorities in order." Jongdae grins. "Come, sit. I want to hear everything about your trip."</p><p>	They sit together, and despite the guards returning to the room, Jongdae keeps a hold on Minseok's hand as Minseok tells him about the travel and the fort and the delegation he kept company with the past three weeks. Jongdae listens attentively, as he always does, in the way he has that makes Minseok feel that what he's saying really matters to Jongdae. The silly conflicts that come when you send spoiled nobles out on the road together are hardly so interesting, but Jongdae cares about it because Minseok is telling it.</p><p>	Kyungsoo returns with a small cake that he sets on the table in front of them. "You didn't think that dinner earlier was enough?" Minseok asks. "I don't normally eat so well."</p><p>	"I've never known you to say no to cake," Jongdae teases. "Besides, it's your birthday."</p><p>	The cake is delicious, like everything that comes out of the palace kitchens, and when Jongdae pulls him into the bedroom and kisses him with the sweet taste on his tongue, Minseok lets everything else go. He wants to know how Jongdae has spent the time he's been away, how he's become friendly with Baekhyun so quickly, but that's not important now. It's his birthday and he's going to enjoy this time with Jongdae without letting anything ruin it for him.</p><p>	Their kissing quickly turns heated; after three weeks apart, they're eager to get their hands on each other, clothes quickly coming off. "I missed you," Minseok murmurs into the skin of Jongdae's throat.</p><p>	"I missed you more." Jongdae laughs a little after he says it, shaking under Minseok's lips, but Minseok knows he means it.</p><p>	Minseok means it too. He's missed the heat of Jongdae's skin, the hard planes of his body and the soft sounds he makes when Minseok touches him. Normally, as a prince, Jongdae has to be restrained, and so Minseok loves it when he lets go, shuddering and moaning as they come together. He loves the way Jongdae clings to him and especially when he begs for more as his climax nears.</p><p>	"Hyung, please," he groans, his voice gone low.</p><p>	"I've got you." Minseok snaps his hips faster as he touches Jongdae until he arches up off the bed, losing himself with a musical moan. Minseok enjoys the sight for a moment before his own pleasure overtakes him and he buries himself deep as he shakes above Jongdae. </p><p>	Jongdae's arms wrap tightly around him, holding him there even after the moment passes. "I love you," he murmurs. They don't say it often, because it doesn't need to be said, but Minseok can see why Jongdae feels it does tonight.</p><p>	He lifts his head to see Jongdae's eyes hazy but full of warmth and affection, and if there's still a little bit of fear in them, Minseok pretends not to see it. "I love you too," he says, following it with a gentle kiss.</p><p>	"Happy birthday, Minseok-hyung," Jongdae says, then goes right back to kissing.</p><p>	Soon, birthday or not, Minseok will have to be responsible and get up to go sleep at home. As much as he wishes things were different, they don't have the kind of relationship where Minseok can sleep in Jongdae's bed and wake up with him every morning. Maybe, he can't help thinking, they never will have that now, but if Jongdae wants to hold onto hope, then Minseok will do the same. In the meantime, he'll treasure moments like these and try not to think about how each one might be their last.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Baekhyun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's only been a week and a half since Baekhyun met Jongdae so he can't say he knows the prince well yet, but it seems to him that something is off as they have breakfast with the rest of the royal family. It's nothing extreme, nothing clear enough that Baekhyun can guess at the problem, but Jongdae doesn't seem quite himself. He didn't at dinner the night before either, but Baekhyun assumed he was only a little tired. Now, he doesn't know what to think.</p>
<p>	If they were alone, Baekhyun might ask about it, casually, so Jongdae could easily brush it off if he's not prepared to open up. As it is, he says nothing, only makes sure to smile his most charming smile. He's good at that, being cheerful through awkward situations.</p>
<p>	Jongdae has some meeting to attend after breakfast, but after that, he joins Baekhyun in going out to the barracks for their daily training. This has always been one of Baekhyun's favorite parts of being a prince, a chance to let go a little and interact on more equal footing with people who wouldn't so much as pat him on the shoulder under normal circumstances. Sure, sometimes it ends with him falling on his ass in the dirt, but, as he and Jongdae discussed a few days ago, it's not so bad for a prince to be brought down a peg now and then.</p>
<p>	"Are you ready?" Baekhyun asks Jongdae as they walk. "You seem tired today."</p>
<p>	Jongdae seems startled by the question, but then he smiles easily and Baekhyun thinks he might have imagined it. "Oh, I'm fine. It's one of those days when a little more sleep would have been nice, I suppose."</p>
<p>	"Some exercise will wake you up," Baekhyun says brightly.</p>
<p>	"I'm sure," Jongdae agrees.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun puts his concerns about Jongdae's mood out of his mind as they set to sparring, since he can't afford to be distracted. He goes hand to hand with Taemin first, which he's always preferred to fighting with a sword. He can't hope to measure up against a soldier who spends all day long training to fight, but he thinks he does a respectable job. He manages to throw Taemin to the ground once, though he manages to evade Baekhyun's attempts to pin him down there, and to score a few more hits before they pause to catch their breaths.</p>
<p>	"Impressive." Baekhyun looks over to see Jongdae watching him.</p>
<p>	"Am I?" Baekhyun asks, faux smug.</p>
<p>	Jongdae laughs and doesn't respond, turning back to his sparring partner. Baekhyun takes the chance to watch him in action. Jongdae's guards are both much larger than him, and he looks almost comically small next to Chanyeol, but he moves nimbly, dodging the guard's sword and responding with a swing of his own. Chanyeol's size makes him slower and Jongdae uses that to his advantage as best he can. It's clear that, like Baekhyun, he's well trained and practiced at fighting, if only in these controlled circumstances.</p>
<p>	As the fight continues, both men starting to sweat despite the cool air, Baekhyun finds himself noting other things. Jongdae has a delicate build, revealed more by the tighter clothes he wears to spar than his usual formal attire, but the tireless way he swings his sword shows strength that suggests his lean frame is well-muscled. He must work hard to maintain that strength amid his other, largely sedentary responsibilities.</p>
<p>	The thoughts of Jongdae's body leads Baekhyun to wonder if anyone besides the servants has seen it without the camouflage of clothes recently. It wouldn't be a surprise if, in twenty-three years of life, Jongdae has had some romantic, or at least sexual partners, as Baekhyun has. Jongdae strikes him as someone who would take relationships seriously, but he could very well have a hidden wild side. The real question is whether he has someone now, or at least did until he found out he would be meeting Baekhyun with the intention of getting married. </p>
<p>	Part of Baekhyun wants to just ask—perhaps not now, but when they're somewhere more private—but then again, it's easier not to know. The lot of royalty is to not always have a say in who they marry, and he's sure Jongdae understands that as well as Baekhyun does. All they can do is make peace with it. Discussing whether Jongdae had—or still has—someone he'd rather marry won't make that any easier for either of them.</p>
<p>	"Your majesty?" Taemin's voice interrupts his train of thought. "Shall we continue?" His tone and expression seem perfectly innocent, and it's not as though Baekhyun was having untoward thoughts, but he still feels like he got caught somehow.</p>
<p>	"Of course," he answers quickly, turning back to his sparring partner. There will be time enough to ponder his potential relationship with Jongdae in the future.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	At lunchtime, Baekhyun is invited to join Jongdae for a meeting with his advisors. Of course he's not welcome at all their meetings, and likely won't be until they're married and he can be trusted as much as a foreign-born prince ever is, but the queen felt it would be good for him to get to know Jongdae's council, and Jongdae seemed to agree.</p>
<p>	Jongdae isn't there yet when Baekhyun arrives in the hall, but three of the advisors are already seated at the table. The older woman is unfamiliar, but he recognizes Junmyeon, who met him on his first day, and the man he's talking to was part of the delegation introduced at dinner last night. He looks far too young to be an advisor, but Baekhyun reasons that he wouldn't be here if he wasn't old enough.</p>
<p>	"Prince Baekhyun, hello," Junmyeon says, getting to his feet. The other man does the same, but the woman remains seated. Baekhyun can't say if it's a pointed gesture or only that she's less spry on her feet. "Welcome. We are pleased to have you with us today."</p>
<p>	"Thank you. No need to stand on my account."</p>
<p>	They all sit down, Baekhyun choosing the seat opposite the young man. "I fear I don't recall your name from last night."</p>
<p>	"This is Lord Minseok," Junmyeon tells him.</p>
<p>	"I am honored to meet you, your majesty." Minseok's words seem sincere, but his smile is very small.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun responds, as is his way, by smiling particularly wide. "The honor is mine." He greets the woman, who introduces herself as Lady Ahseong, then turns back to Minseok and Junmyeon. "Meaning no disrespect, you seem quite young for the crown prince's advisory council. Is that common in Haeguk?"</p>
<p>	"I assure you that Minseok is not as young as you think," Junmyeon says, grinning. Minseok's tolerant eye roll suggests that this is a common topic of teasing between them. "But we are young. Typically, the crown prince chooses several younger nobles for his council, which provides us an opportunity to learn from more experienced advisors." He nods to Ahseong. "If Prince Jongdae is satisfied with us, we will continue to serve on his council for the duration of his reign as king."</p>
<p>	"I see." That's one tradition Gwanguk didn't keep, or else a new development since their countries split. "It must be quite an honor to be chosen for such a position."</p>
<p>	"Yes, it is. We have both known his majesty for many years and we are pleased that he trusts our judgment."</p>
<p>	"What are you saying about me?" Jongdae's voice cuts into their conversation. Baekhyun sees him at the door with an older man and a woman who looks to be more middle-aged behind him.</p>
<p>	"Only good things, of course," Junmyeon responds cheerfully. It's obvious from that response that he's quite comfortable with Jongdae. Minseok also smiles widely as he turns to face Jongdae, a sharp contrast with the tiny smile he gave Baekhyun.</p>
<p>	"Lady Ahseong is fine, but don't trust anything those two say," Jongdae tells Baekhyun, gesturing at Junmyeon and Minseok. "We've been friends since I was a baby, so they don't respect me properly." His warm smile belies his words.</p>
<p>	Jongdae takes a seat at the head of the table, still smiling. His good mood makes Baekhyun think he imagined that there was something wrong earlier, which is a relief. This situation is complicated enough without Jongdae turning moody for some reason Baekhyun isn't aware of.</p>
<p>	Jongdae introduces the remaining two advisors, Lord Kitae and Lady Hyojoo, and Baekhyun greets them politely. Obviously, these meetings aren't <i>too</i> formal, given Jongdae's earlier comments, but Baekhyun needs to be on his best behavior to win over these advisors. The older ones especially may well hold grudges against Gwanguk, and therefore him—though everyone here has lived through war between their countries and he's not assuming that it's only older people who will resent his presence.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun pays attention to the content of the meeting to some degree, wanting to learn more about how Haeguk works, but he's well aware that they're unlikely to reveal much he hasn't learned already. Given that, he pays more attention to the advisors themselves, and the way Jongdae interacts with them. It's useful to learn about the people around him, and especially the people who are important to Jongdae.</p>
<p>	He notices that Jongdae respects what his advisors have to say, the older ones in particular, but Junmyeon and Minseok too. It's quite clear that he's closest to the younger two, but he occasionally jokes around with all of them, and even the oldest two seem fond of him. If Baekhyun had to decide based on what he's seeing here, he'd guess that Jongdae is closest to Minseok. He seems to smile at the young lord the most, to look to him first when he makes a joke, and also when he seems a little uncertain. </p>
<p>	That makes Baekhyun want to get to know Minseok's better, partly because it could help him in convincing Jongdae to marry him, and partly out of simple curiosity. He wants to know more about this man who looks like such a child and yet has the affection of the crown prince and enough respect from the queen to be sent to the fort at the border. Is he from an important noble family, or merely someone less significant who has found his way into the good graces of the royal family?</p>
<p>	He gets his chance to ask when Jongdae lingers at the end of the meeting, sending the advisors off before asking Baekhyun, "What do you think?"</p>
<p>	"It's a lot of work, being the crown prince." Jongdae rolls his eyes a bit at Baekhyun's wry non-answer, but he doesn't push. Instead, Baekhyun asks, "I'm curious how you choose your advisors. Are they all from major noble families?"</p>
<p>	"Junmyeon is, and Lady Ahseong. Lord Kitae and Lady Hyojoo are from somewhat less significant families, but they were chosen to bring representation from outside the capital. Minseok's family is relatively minor nobility, but that's enough to qualify him for my council. I've known him for a long time and I trust his judgment."</p>
<p>	"Friends since you were a baby, you said."</p>
<p>	Jongdae's smile is soft. "Yes. Minseok was a friend of my brother's originally, but I stole him away once I was old enough."</p>
<p>	"He's your brother's age?" Baekhyun asks, startled. Junmyeon did say Minseok was older than he seems, but Baekhyun would have guessed he was younger than Jongdae at least.</p>
<p>	"One year younger. Two years older than us." Jongdae grins. "We all kept waiting for him to start looking his age, but it hasn't happened yet."</p>
<p>	"I see," Baekhyun says. "That will teach me to judge based on appearances."</p>
<p>	"Indeed." Jongdae is still smiling, but abruptly it starts to fade, as though he's recalled some concern that is preventing him from being fully happy. Was Baekhyun right, then, to think that something is off with him today? Before he can ask, Jongdae says, "I have some other duties to attend to, but I'll see you at dinner tonight."</p>
<p>	"I'll see you then," Baekhyun responds. Jongdae's smile as he bids him goodbye seems genuine enough, so Baekhyun decides to let it go. If there is in fact some concern weighing on Jongdae, there will be time enough to find out what it is and deal with it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Jongdae seems more relaxed at dinner, and in the days that follow, so Baekhyun stops worrying and goes back to doing his best to win over Jongdae and the rest of the royal family. Jongdae's parents and grandmother are more difficult for him to read, but Baekhyun is reasonably confident that Jongdae likes him so far. Whether Jongdae likes him enough to marry him remains to be seen, but he hopes they're on their way to that.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun has been in the castle for two weeks before they discuss the topic with any directness. They're having breakfast when Baekhyun mentions his brother's wife and Jongdae asks, "Prince Baekbeom has been married for two years, is it?"</p>
<p>	"Nearly three now." That marriage was a political one too, in a sense, to the daughter of one of Gwanguk's most important noble families, who had on occasion clashed with King Chanwoo. Love grew between Baekbeom and his wife in time, though. Could that happen between Baekhyun and Jongdae? Baekhyun is skeptical, but he'll be content with friendship if he has to be.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun doesn't say any of that, instead casually asking, "Has the prospect of marriage come up for you before? As the only prince, I imagine it would."</p>
<p>	Jongdae hides it well, but Baekhyun still catches the hesitation before he answers, "It has, but not so seriously. The Queen has been kind in not pushing me to marry before I'm ready."</p>
<p>	Baekhyun is tempted to ask why he wasn't ready—Jongdae is twenty-three, after all, well old enough for marriage—but decides against it. "Do you think you might be ready someday?" he asks instead, making a joke of it.</p>
<p>	Jongdae smiles, but less than he usually does at Baekhyun's jokes. "I should hope so." He hesitates, turning more serious. "Baekhyun, I... Understand that I see the significance of us being married, and I am open to the possibility of it."</p>
<p>	There's a lot he's not saying, that much is obvious. But he seems sincere, and that's all Baekhyun can ask of him. It's still early in their acquaintance, and he wouldn't want to force Jongdae into marrying him until and unless he's ready. "I am as well," he says. "But there's no need to rush into anything."</p>
<p>	Jongdae seems relieved at his answer. "And I hope that...whatever comes of our relationship, we can work toward lasting peace between our kingdoms."</p>
<p>	Is he looking for an escape, a way to achieve peace without getting married? Maybe so, and if it was only between them, Baekhyun wouldn't mind giving it to him, but there's too much at stake here to give up so quickly. "I hope so too," he says simply. "But we have plenty of time yet to decide, no?"</p>
<p>	Jongdae's expression is unreadable now, a bland royal smile. "Yes, we do," he agrees. Baekhyun decides—because what is the alternative?—to take him at his word.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Despite the vague tension of that moment, Baekhyun and Jongdae enjoy spending time together. Jongdae is good company, and there remains much for Baekhyun to learn about him and about Haeguk. He has a strange attitude toward the country that shifted between an enemy and an unreliable neighbor in his childhood, only finally becoming an uncertain friend less than ten years ago.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun doesn't hate easily, but he hated Haeguk when he was young. Now that he's here, he realizes how much the country has in common with Gwanguk and how much he, personally, has in common with Jongdae. How nice it would have been if their countries had always been at peace and he could have grown up friends with Jongdae. But all he can do is try to make up for it now.</p>
<p>	Nearly three weeks have passed since Baekhyun arrived in Haeguk when Jongdae invites him to his chambers after dinner. The royal family discussed music over the meal, which led to the queen suggesting that Jongdae show Baekhyun his bipa, a string instrument that is popular in Haeguk but fell out of favor in Gwanguk long before Baekhyun was born. Baekhyun has been in Jongdae's chambers before, but only briefly when meeting to go somewhere else. It feels like a step forward in terms of intimacy to come spend time in Jongdae's private chambers, even if it was at the queen's suggestion.</p>
<p>	Jongdae leads him into one of the side rooms and goes into a cabinet to pull out the bipa. It's made of a light brown wood formed into a rounded body tapering into a relatively short neck, with strings running the length of the instrument. Jongdae holds it out to Baekhyun, who takes it and cautiously plucks a few strings. "Do you play often?" he asks.</p>
<p>	"Occasionally. I took lessons when I was younger, as most royals do. My brother hated it, but I enjoyed learning to play, though I prefer singing."</p>
<p>	"Would you sing me a song, then?" Baekhyun doesn't know if that's too forward, but he thinks he and Jongdae have reached a point where it's acceptable for him to make somewhat bolder requests (and perhaps even for Jongdae to refuse them without offense).</p>
<p>	Jongdae's smile turns shy as he takes the bipa back and sits down on a chair. "I'm out of practice, so please don't judge me too harshly." Holding a pick in his hand, he plucks at the strings, tuning the instrument, and then begins to play. The sound is pleasant enough, but what catches Baekhyun's attention is when Jongdae begins to sing. He has a strong, rich voice that suits the song, a ballad about a young couple in love. He hits a wrong note here and there, but Baekhyun doesn't care, enjoying the sound of Jongdae's voice accompanied by the plucked notes.</p>
<p>	When Jongdae finishes, Baekhyun applauds, grinning at how his enthusiasm startles Jongdae. "No need at all to judge you," he says. "You sing very well, and play well too as far as I can see."</p>
<p>	Jongdae flushes a little as he smiles, looking pleased with the compliment. Baekhyun is about to ask if he knows other songs when suddenly the deep voice of Jongdae's attendant interrupts, "Excuse me, your majesty."</p>
<p>	Jongdae starts, but cautiously puts down the instrument before he turns around. "Yes, Kyungsoo?"</p>
<p>	"You have a visitor." Kyungsoo's face is always impassive, at least to Baekhyun's eyes, but his gaze seems to communicate something to Jongdae.</p>
<p>	"Let him in," Jongdae says. "Tell him I'll be with him shortly."</p>
<p>	"Were you expecting someone?" Baekhyun asks, feeling a bit awkward now. He moves to the doorway as Kyungsoo leaves and sees him open the door to let Minseok in.</p>
<p>	Minseok seems surprised to see Baekhyun, smiling a little stiffly. "Prince Baekhyun, good evening."</p>
<p>	"I asked Minseok to stop by to discuss something before going home," Jongdae explains from behind him. "I'm afraid I forgot when I invited you over."</p>
<p>	"I can come back tomorrow," Minseok offers. He looks uncomfortable, perhaps not used to being in Jongdae's chambers, however good friends they may be, or perhaps only unsure of how to behave with Baekhyun there.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun jumps in, "There's no need." To Jongdae, he says, "Thank you for having me over. I'll leave you to your business and see you tomorrow."</p>
<p>	"Goodnight," Jongdae says. Baekhyun echoes the greeting, and then Minseok. As the door closes behind him, Baekhyun just barely sees Jongdae flash an apologetic grimace at Minseok. </p>
<p>	What business is there to bring a single advisor to Jongdae's chambers at this time of night, Baekhyun wonders. But there's much he doesn't know about Jongdae's royal duties, and he's aware that entertaining Baekhyun is occupying some of the time Jongdae might normally use for meetings and other business, perhaps forcing him to continue into the night. As much as he would like to find out more, he won't overstay his welcome.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Minseok</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In some ways, everything is more complicated with Prince Baekhyun in the castle, but in many ways, for Minseok, it's exactly the same as before. Though he's been more cautious since encountering Baekhyun in Jongdae's chambers four nights ago, nothing has interfered with their regular nightly meetings. If anything, those meetings have become more regular now, with the feeling that their time may be limited hanging over them. Most of the time, though, Minseok doesn't think about that, and they never talk about it. Better to pretend until they can't anymore that nothing will come between them, and hope that nothing will.</p>
<p>	It's always been good being with Jongdae, and it still is. Minseok smiles to himself as he remembers laughing with Jongdae last night when they talked about a hungover Junmyeon embarrassingly stumbling over his words at their last council meeting. He also remembers how Jongdae pushed him down on the bed, squeezing Minseok's hands tight as he rocked on top of him. He hopes none of the servants who pass him in the castle hallway can guess where his mind is from his expression.</p>
<p>	He finds his way to the royal library, where he often spends his time while waiting for council meetings or to see Jongdae in the evenings. It's a quiet place, with the comfortable chairs that Jongdae's grandfather had installed unoccupied more often than not, making it perfect for Minseok to sit and relax.</p>
<p>	It's empty today as well, and Minseok chooses a book about the early history of the conflict between Gwanguk and Haeguk from a military perspective. He sits in his favorite chair and starts to read, but he's only made it a few pages when the sound of footsteps makes him look up to see Baekhyun and his entourage. He puts the book down and stands up to greet the prince with a polite bow.</p>
<p>	"Oh, please, don't be so formal," Baekhyun says. "I apologize for interrupting your reading."</p>
<p>	"Not at all."</p>
<p>	There's something evaluating in the way Baekhyun looks at Minseok, not harsh, but curious. It makes Minseok nervous. Does Baekhyun suspect something, or is he only curious to learn more about Minseok as Jongdae's advisor and friend? "What are you reading?" Minseok shows the book to Baekhyun, realizing a moment too late that it's an unfortunate choice in this context. "Military history?" Baekhyun asks.</p>
<p>	"Not for any particular reason," Minseok explains. "I only pass time here reading sometimes."</p>
<p>	"If you're not busy, may I ask you some questions? I'm supposed to be studying, but how better to learn about Haeguk than from one of its subjects?"</p>
<p>	"Of course, your majesty, if I can be of use."</p>
<p>	Baekhyun sits in the plush chair opposite Minseok, and Minseok sits back down. "Were you old enough to fight in the last war?" Baekhyun immediately seems to think better of the question. "I should have started with a more innocuous topic, but your book made me wonder."</p>
<p>	"I was just barely too young," Minseok answers. He can't see any harm in that. "Had it continued much longer, I likely would have fought." A memory springs to mind of Jongdae, still reeling from his brother's death several months before, crying and telling Minseok he couldn't bear to let him go off to fight and perhaps die, though they were only friends at the time. Jongdae has never been a crier, but that was a difficult time for him, thrust abruptly into the role of crown prince in the midst of much greater turmoil.</p>
<p>	"I admit I'm relieved," Baekhyun says. "I often wonder if those who fought in the war hold a strong grudge against me." Minseok is surprised at his honesty; Baekhyun has only attended three council meetings, and aside from that brief meeting in Jongdae's chambers, they haven't spoken otherwise, let alone had time to get to know each other well enough to honestly discuss difficult topics. </p>
<p>	"I do not," Minseok responds with equal honesty. "I understand how history shapes our choices and how little say a young prince has in a war."</p>
<p>	"You and Jongdae were already friends back then." It's not really a question, but Minseok nods. Baekhyun seems to be considering asking more about that, but instead he pauses. Changing the subject somewhat, he says, "You must know Jongdae very well."</p>
<p>	"I suppose so," Minseok responds, though the honest answer would be an unqualified yes. He knows Jongdae better than most anyone in the palace, in some ways better than his own family does.</p>
<p>	"If I ask you about him, will you report back to him?" Minseok says nothing, searching for a way to hedge, and Baekhyun laughs. "So be it. I'll watch my words, then." He considers. "Jongdae seems to me a straightforward person, but I wonder how much I truly see of him."</p>
<p>	"He is straightforward, but he is also a prince." Minseok thinks Baekhyun will understand that, and sure enough, he nods. Impulsively, Minseok adds, "You seem to get along well."</p>
<p>	"We do, I believe. We have many things in common." Minseok expects Baekhyun to ask another question about Jongdae, but instead, he asks, "What do you do as an advisor besides council meetings?"</p>
<p>	"We sometimes meet with various representatives in the crown prince's stead," Minseok says. "Junmyeon and I as junior members of the council are expected to take time to educate ourselves fully about all matters of royal concern."</p>
<p>	"Hence the book about military history?"</p>
<p>	"Yes." Minseok wonders what Baekhyun is trying to learn here, if he's curious about Jongdae or the council or Minseok himself. He can't read much into Baekhyun's expression, a casual smile and eyes that show interest in both Minseok and his words. That spark of interest makes him want to like Baekhyun, despite his impulse to dislike the man who might steal Jongdae away from him.</p>
<p>	"I have much to learn about those matters too. Perhaps you can help me when you have time." Before Minseok can respond, he adds, "I understand, of course, that many matters of royal concern you won't share with me, but I imagine you are knowledgeable about history and the nobles of Haeguk and other such topics."</p>
<p>	Minseok thinks about making an excuse, but Baekhyun seems so earnest, and he can't help being curious about the foreign prince. "I am often here in the late morning and afternoon if you wish to join me," he offers, against his better instincts.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun smiles widely, and Minseok can't bring himself to regret his offer. "Great. I'm sure I will."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Despite his offer, Minseok makes excuses to avoid the library for the next few days. It feels childish, but it's easier to not see Baekhyun and be reminded of what he represents to Minseok, and also to not get to know him well enough to like him. He'll make peace with the possibility of Baekhyun marrying Jongdae in time, he hopes, if he has to, but he's not ready yet.</p>
<p>	He can't avoid the topic of Baekhyun, though, which comes up at the next council meeting. "Prince Baekhyun has been here for nearly a month," Lord Kitae says to Jongdae. "How are things progressing with him?"</p>
<p>	Jongdae keeps a straight face, but there's a flush to his cheeks as he avoids meeting Minseok's eyes. "We're getting along well."</p>
<p>	"What do you think of the prospect of marrying him?" Kitae is a knowledgeable advisor and a good-hearted man, but always direct. Sometimes Minseok values that about him, but right now, it's uncomfortable.</p>
<p>	Jongdae shows hints of discomfort, shifting in his chair. "We could be compatible, I believe, and we are both committed to furthering the cause of peace, but I don't wish to rush into anything, and neither does he."</p>
<p>	"I only hope that you will not delay too long," Kitae presses. "The current peace treaty should not be taken for granted."</p>
<p>	"I am sure that the prince understands the stakes," Junmyeon puts in.</p>
<p>	"And surely Gwanguk would not attack with their prince here?" Lady Ahseong says.</p>
<p>	"I doubt it, but you can never be certain with Gwanguk," Kitae responds. "I do not trust that King Chanwoo."</p>
<p>	"If lasting peace is to be achieved, we must learn to trust Gwanguk." There's just the slightest hint of sharpness in Jongdae's tone. He's more polite with the older advisors, but there should be no doubt about who this council answers to. "Both King Chanwoo and Baekhyun himself have agreed to him spending a long time here, getting to know me and the court. I take them at their word."</p>
<p>	"Very well," Kitae concedes, though he doesn't look convinced.</p>
<p>	Jongdae turns the conversation to other matters, but Minseok doesn't miss the glance he shoots in Minseok's direction, seeing how he took the conversation. Minseok smiles reassuringly, but he can't help thinking that they won't be able to stall forever. Can they really find a way to make it work between them or is it better if he lets go now so that Jongdae can move forward freely?</p>
<p>	He's still caught up in those thoughts without resolution when the meeting ends. Jongdae hurries off to other business and the older advisors say their goodbyes, but Junmyeon lingers. Minseok thinks that he just wants to chat, as he often does, but instead Junmyeon asks, "Are you all right? You seem distracted."</p>
<p>	"I'm fine," Minseok lies, but Junmyeon knows him too well to believe it.</p>
<p>	"Come, let's talk." Junmyeon takes his arm and leads him to a corner of the room, away from the handful of servants clearing the table. It's a large hall, so no one is likely to overhear them. Minseok is glad of that when Junmyeon says, keeping his voice low just in case, "You didn't like the marriage talk."</p>
<p>	"W-what do you mean?" Minseok stammers.</p>
<p>	"We've known each other our whole lives, and Jongdae too. Did you think I wouldn't notice? And it's been years now, hasn't it?" </p>
<p>	There's no judgment in Junmyeon's expression—as Minseok should have known there wouldn't be. "Four years," he admits.</p>
<p>	"Oh, that long?" Junmyeon doesn't wait for an answer, continuing, "To be clear, you don't need to be concerned that it's obvious. Only to me, I think, and I wasn't sure for a long time. I wouldn't have said anything, but I thought you might want to talk."</p>
<p>	Minseok sighs, relaxing slightly. Junmyeon is a good friend, someone he trusts, but it's still hard to open up about his biggest secret. Then again, it would be a relief to let out some of the thoughts swirling around his head. "No," he finally says. "I didn't like the marriage talk."</p>
<p>	"Have you and Jongdae discussed what you'll do?"</p>
<p>	Minseok nods. "As soon as I came home after Prince Baekhyun arrived. We...he asked me not to give up. He thinks that if he can become good friends with Baekhyun, then can make peace happen without marriage."</p>
<p>	"And what do you think?" Junmyeon's gaze is piercing, and Minseok looks away.</p>
<p>	"I think that I'm not ready to let go until I have to, but I wonder if that's too selfish."</p>
<p>	"Do you want to know what I think?"</p>
<p>	Minseok isn't sure he wants to hear Junmyeon's answer, but he does think he should hear what someone without a vested interest in their relationship thinks. He nods mutely.</p>
<p>	"I think it's not so selfish to do what the person you love wants. Is it the best choice for the country, or even for the two of you? That I don't know, but I think it's brave of you to hold onto hope as long as you can. I would try to do the same in your place."</p>
<p>	"You always were a romantic," Minseok mutters to hide that he's touched by Junmyeon's words.</p>
<p>	"So I am." Junmyeon grins. "I wish I had some brilliant advice to offer you, but all I can say is that I think you should keep fighting, only be careful. We can't know how Prince Baekhyun would react if he found out."</p>
<p>	Minseok grimaces at the thought. Baekhyun doesn't strike him as the kind of person to be angry or cruel, but he doesn't know him well enough to judge. Best to keep him in the dark until they're sure he'll accept it. "Of course. I wouldn't let that happen."</p>
<p>	"Then good luck. And I'm here if you need to talk." Junmyeon pats him on the shoulder.</p>
<p>	"Thank you." The conversation changed nothing, really, but Minseok finds himself feeling relieved.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Minseok intends to stay around the castle until it's time to meet Jongdae that night. He tries to pass some time in the royal gardens, but it's a cold, gloomy day that's unpleasant to spend outside, so he finally gives in and goes to the library. He tells himself that it's unlikely that Baekhyun will be there anyway—he'll be in his chambers, or out doing whatever the queen sees fit for him to do—and he's so convinced that it startles him when he walks in and finds Baekhyun sitting right where he was the other day, a book in his lap and his attendant Yixing sitting in a chair next to him and two guards standing behind him.</p>
<p>	"Lord Minseok!" A wide smile spreads over Baekhyun's face. "I was beginning to suspect you were avoiding me."</p>
<p>	"Of course not, your majesty." Minseok bows politely, as much to hide his guilty expression as because it's appropriate.</p>
<p>	"Didn't I tell you not to be so formal?" Baekhyun asks. "You don't bow to Jongdae every time you see him, do you?"</p>
<p>	"No, but..." <i>But I have a very different relationship with Jongdae than I do with you,</i> Minseok thinks but would never say.</p>
<p>	"I know we're not friends like you and Jongdae, of course, but I'd like it if we could be. I don't get to talk to enough people around my age here—besides the servants, I suppose, but they're shy around me. And you're already friends with one prince, so I know you're not scared of us—actually, two, I suppose; Jongdae said you were friends with his brother before."</p>
<p>	"Yes." Baekhyun's words surprise Minseok. As he says, Minseok has befriended princes before, but they grew up together. It's different with Baekhyun, who is nearly a stranger. Is it a strategic thing, wanting to get a member of Jongdae's council on his side? He'd do better with the senior members, perhaps Ahseong, whose family is much more influential than Minseok's. But Minseok is more accessible—or maybe, he has to concede, Baekhyun simply wants to have more friends here in Haeguk, far away from everything and everyone familiar.</p>
<p>	"You don't <i>have</i> to be my friend if you don't want to..." Minseok starts, ready to apologize to avoid offense, until he notices that Baekhyun's eyes are twinkling. He's teasing, as though they're already good friends. Baekhyun spares Minseok the awkwardness of figuring how to respond to a strange prince's teasing by gesturing at the chair opposite him. "Come, sit. Unless you have something you need to attend to?"</p>
<p>	"No, I have time." Minseok takes a seat, nodding a greeting to Yixing as well. "Are you studying?" he asks, hoping to turn the subject away from teasing him.</p>
<p>	"I'm trying," Baekhyun says wryly. "Can I ask you something?"</p>
<p>	"Feel free," Minseok says, hoping he doesn't sound as wary as he feels. He has no reason to expect Baekhyun to ask him anything he won't want to answer, but he thinks back to his earlier conversation with Junmyeon. As friendly as Baekhyun seems, he can't be sure he doesn't have a temper or his own secrets to hide.</p>
<p>	"How do you learn about Gwanguk declaring independence here?" Baekhyun asks. "Of course I've learned about it from the Gwanguk perspective, but I wonder how differently it's taught here, especially since our countries weren't exactly getting along when we were children." It's a touchy question, but Minseok is just relieved that it's not about him or Jongdae.</p>
<p>	"I learned that the provinces that would become Gwanguk argued that they weren't being fairly represented in the royal court—without basis, given that their population was much smaller than the Gimgyeong area and they had less to offer the country than the southern provinces, with their busy ports and fertile farmland. King Byungho said as much, and the leaders of the Gwanguk provinces orchestrated an attempt to poison him. When that failed, knowing they would be punished, they mustered their armies and attacked without provocation." </p>
<p>	The one thing those provinces had going for them was strong armies and stronger fortresses in their major cities, allowing them to resist the attempt by the rest of Haeguk's military to subdue them. After over a year of bloody fighting, the first of many truces was reached and the separate country of Gwanguk was officially established. In Haeguk, the northern provinces were always portrayed as greedy, hungry for power they didn't deserve, and as poor rulers who treated their people cruelly, though that rhetoric has softened since the latest treaty.</p>
<p>	"I suppose that's not so different, except that I of course learned that the rulers of Haeguk hogged power and abused us, and that King Byungho was a tyrant who deserved poisoning." Baekhyun hesitates. "I hope that doesn't offend you. I'm only saying that I learned it that way, not that it's true. All I can say is that the people of Gwanguk felt that we were treated unjustly, and that we would be better off under our own rule. And I believe we've done well enough for ourselves."</p>
<p>	More than his words, the change in Baekhyun's attitude strikes Minseok. Earlier, he was joking, easygoing and friendly. There's still a disarming smile on his face, but his eyes are sharp and evaluating, watching Minseok's reaction. He's smarter than he seems—smarter than he wants to appear, perhaps—this prince from Gwanguk. Perhaps Minseok should be wary of that, but it makes him respect Baekhyun more, and find him more interesting.</p>
<p>	"That you have," Minseok agrees. Gwanguk is poorer than Haeguk, but they've found their own way in the almost one hundred years since they gained independence, surely better than anyone in Haeguk expected back then.</p>
<p>	"Do the people of Haeguk hate Gwanguk, in your opinion?" It's a dangerous question, but if Baekhyun feels any qualms about asking it, Minseok can't see that in his expression.</p>
<p>	Minseok pauses, weighing his answer. "Many do, I have no doubt. We spent many years as enemies, and many people lost friends and family in the wars. And there will always be extremists. But I do believe that many people are ready for peace in spite of that, and that more will come around if they are convinced that Gwanguk is sincere in wanting a lasting peace this time around."</p>
<p>	"If I stay, you mean?" Baekhyun asks.</p>
<p>	Minseok shrugs. Gwanguk's prince marrying Jongdae would undoubtedly help in convincing people that they're serious about peace, but he doesn't want to say that, given his own stake in the matter. "There may be other ways to convince people, but that would be one."</p>
<p>	There's a long moment of silence before Baekhyun asks, "And what do you think?" </p>
<p>	"About peace between our countries?" Baekhyun nods. "I think that we have had enough of war. I also lost friends in the last war and resented Gwanguk for it, but...I think we can better honor them by keeping the peace than by continuing to fight."</p>
<p>	Baekhyun's smile is warm, and it makes Minseok want to trust him, though he's not ready to. "I agree. I..." Baekhyun looks down, his expression turning more serious. "My father is a passionate man. Some might say he's gone too far at times to defend Gwanguk. But I believe that he's serious about peace now, and so is my brother and so am I. I hope I'm right in believing that the royal family of Haeguk is as well."</p>
<p>	Minseok knows Jongdae is, and while he doesn't know the queen as well, Jongdae believes that she wants peace badly. "I believe they are." Before he can think better of it, Minseok blurts out, "You are being very honest with me, your majesty."</p>
<p>	"I suppose I am, but you seem trustworthy to me, even though I don't know you well." Baekhyun's smile widens. "I should get to know you better, so I can see if my trust is justified. Tell me, are you married?"</p>
<p>	The question catches Minseok off guard, though he has no reason to believe that it's a pointed one. "How does that help you trust me?"</p>
<p>	Baekhyun laughs, and in that unguarded moment, Minseok catches himself noticing how good looking he is. He has a handsome face, and though he's not much taller than Minseok, he has a more masculine build, with broad, strong shoulders. Has Jongdae noticed, he wonders, and does he like the look of Baekhyun too? To be honest, Minseok doesn't know what Jongdae's type is. Aside from casually kissing a couple of girls, he's never been romantically involved with anyone but Minseok, and they've never thought to discuss it.</p>
<p>	"It doesn't, but I would like to get to know you better." Baekhyun's comment pulls Minseok's attention back to their conversation, and he's happy to let those thoughts go.</p>
<p>	"No," he responds, "I am not married."</p>
<p>	"Any prospects?" When Minseok shakes his head, Baekhyun continues, "Do you live with your family?"</p>
<p>	"With my parents, yes. My younger sister got married and moved away."</p>
<p>	"Ah, you're an older brother." Baekhyun's eyes are twinkling again, and Minseok doesn't know what to read into that. "Somehow it fits you, even though you look so young. I imagine you're good at taking care of younger brothers like me and Jongdae."</p>
<p>	He's not wrong, though Minseok doesn't want to talk about his relationship with Jongdae now if he can help it. He brushes that off with a smile and Baekhyun asks instead, "How did you come to be friends with the princes? Even for nobility, that's an honor not everyone is given, isn't it?"</p>
<p>	"It is. My family is relatively minor nobility, but my parents have always been content with that, not pushing for more power or money. The Queen recognized that and felt that she could trust my parents—and later me—not to take advantage of my connection to the princes."</p>
<p>	"See, you're trustworthy," Baekhyun declares, looking quite pleased with himself. "Even Queen Inhye agrees with me."</p>
<p>	Minseok smiles. It really is difficult to dislike Baekhyun, in spite of what he represents for Minseok. "Who am I to argue with royalty?"</p>
<p>	Baekhyun likes that, grinning widely. "I'm glad you understand."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	As he makes his way to Jongdae's chambers that night, Minseok's mind returns to the earlier council meeting. Lord Kitae's words nag at him, his insistence that Jongdae shouldn't delay in marrying Baekhyun. What would he think if he knew that Jongdae doesn't want to marry Baekhyun at all? Nothing good, Minseok is sure. He also thinks about what Junmyeon told him, that he shouldn't let go of hope easily. It's so hard to balance what's best for the country with what he and Jongdae want, what his rational mind tells him he should do versus what his heart is clinging to.</p>
<p>	Jongdae smiles, as he always does when Minseok comes in, though there's a hint of hesitation to it tonight. Clearly he's had a lot to think about too. When Jongdae stands to greet him, Minseok says, "Come here," tugging him toward his bedroom.</p>
<p>	Only when the door is closed with the servants and guards on the other side does Jongdae say, "I didn't know you were so eager to get me into bed tonight, hyung."</p>
<p>	"I want to be alone," Minseok explains. </p>
<p>	Jongdae's face falls, and it makes Minseok feel guilty. "We don't have to talk about it."</p>
<p>	"Don't we?" When Jongdae doesn't respond, he says, "I talked to Junmyeon today. And Baekhyun."</p>
<p>	"About us?" Jongdae asks, startled. </p>
<p>	"To Junmyeon, yes. He already knew, it seems. But not to Baekhyun, of course." Minseok briefly explains those conversations, and Jongdae nods, his expression somber. There's silence when he finishes, and after a moment he adds, "Baekhyun seems like a good man."</p>
<p>	"Hyung, don't." Jongdae's voice is pleading.</p>
<p>	"I'm not," Minseok quickly reassures him. "I only wish it wasn't so complicated."</p>
<p>	"I regret to inform you that that's the price you pay for dating a prince." Jongdae's smile is wan but real.</p>
<p>	"You think you're so worth it," Minseok teases.</p>
<p>	"Of course I am." Now Jongdae grins, and Minseok smiles back, relieved. "Just kiss me, hyung, all right? Forget about everything else."</p>
<p>	It's not so easy to forget, but as Minseok kisses Jongdae and falls into bed with him, he almost manages it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Jongdae</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Despite the many complications in his life, in a way, Jongdae is happy. He still has Minseok by his side, and he also has his growing friendship with Baekhyun, who is unlike any friend he's had before. The more time they spend together, the more Jongdae feels as thought they were just meant to be friends, given how well they fit together. It's not like his friendship with Minseok, of course, but also different from with Junmyeon or any other noble he's befriended. Part of that is because Baekhyun is a prince, but a lot of it is just because of who they are as people and how well-matched they are.</p>
<p>	Two weeks pass in peace, with Jongdae continuing to carry out his regular duties, enjoying his time during the day with Baekhyun, and spending most of his nights with Minseok. There's a pesky little voice in the back of his head that reminds him that what he has now is fragile, but he's an optimist and most of the time he successfully ignores that negative voice. Things will work out, he convinces himself, and if they don't, it won't help anything to worry about it in advance.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun's birthday is fast approaching, and with plans underway for a lavish celebration (to honor their guest, of course, not to show off), Jongdae and Baekhyun discuss it over lunch a week before. "Do you have any particular birthday traditions in Gwanguk?" Jongdae asks.</p>
<p>	"Not at this age. For young children, or when we come of age, but I imagine those are similar to what you do here."</p>
<p>	They pass a while comparing those traditions before Jongdae asks, "Are you sorry to be away from your family on your birthday?"</p>
<p>	Baekhyun shrugs. "I expected it to happen sooner or later, once I was married off to an eligible prince or princess. It's time for me to get used to it."</p>
<p>	"I'll make sure it's a good one." Jongdae smiles, and Baekhyun immediately answers it with a smile of his own. His smile lights up his face beautifully, Jongdae notices, and then feels guilty that he noticed. It's only an aesthetic judgment and objectively, Baekhyun is good looking, but it feels more significant given that Baekhyun is a marriage prospect, and somehow like that much more of a betrayal of Minseok as Jongdae and Baekhyun become closer friends. </p>
<p>	"I'll hold you to that," Baekhyun says before turning the conversation to their earlier sparring lessons, blissfully oblivious to Jongdae's inner turmoil.</p>
<p>	<i>Just because you find his smile charming doesn't mean you want to marry him,</i> Jongdae chides himself, and turns his attention back to the conversation. It's silly to dwell on such insignificant thoughts.</p>
<p>	No such thoughts trouble Jongdae through the afternoon and evening's activities, but as he waits for Minseok that night, his thoughts wander back to Baekhyun. Of course he's seen attractive men and women before, and interacted with them to varying degrees. He even kissed a few girls in his teens, although it was never anything serious. But when it comes down to it, though he's noticed other people, Minseok has always been the only one for him in his mind.</p>
<p>	Minseok was the first person he ever kissed, though it didn't mean anything when Jongdae was only a curious six year old who had no idea what he was doing. But it did mean something when Jongdae was nineteen and took Minseok to his bed for the first time—his first time with anyone. They were both so uncertain, Jongdae because of his inexperience and Minseok because however close they were, Jongdae was still a prince. Minseok thought it couldn't go anywhere, not seriously, but Jongdae believed from the beginning that they were meant to be together, and time has proven him right.</p>
<p>	He still firmly believes that, because while Baekhyun is becoming a good friend and Jongdae does think he's attractive, he'll never be Minseok. Minseok has known Jongdae his whole life and seen him through the most difficult moments of it without judgment. Minseok understands him better than anyone else, and Minseok loves him, as Jongdae loves him back. Nothing will ever change that, certainly not a moment here and there of noticing Baekhyun's appearance.</p>
<p>	When Minseok arrives in Jongdae's chambers, he says, "You're looking pensive. What are you thinking?"</p>
<p>	"I'm thinking..." Jongdae leans in close to whisper in Minseok's ear. "...that I want your mouth on me tonight."</p>
<p>	Minseok laughs and gives him a light, playful shove away. "And here I thought it was something serious. All right, then."</p>
<p>	In the bedroom soon after, as Jongdae falls apart under Minseok's touch, he gasps out, "I love you," and thinks that nothing else matters.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Baekhyun's twenty-fourth birthday arrives a week later. Jongdae greets him with genuine enthusiasm when he arrives for breakfast with the royal family, though he's more restrained about it than he would be if the two of them were alone. Baekhyun is becoming a good friend, and Jongdae is excited to celebrate with him today.</p>
<p>	The rest of the royal family also formally wishes him a happy birthday, and Baekhyun responds with equal politeness. "We're pleased to have you celebrate your birthday with us," the queen says. "I hope you will enjoy it, though I imagine you miss your family today."</p>
<p>	Baekhyun smiles. "I do, but I'm sure I will enjoy celebrating with everyone here. And I received a letter from my family yesterday, so I feel that they're with me too."</p>
<p>	"I'm glad," the queen responds.</p>
<p>	"How is your family faring?" the high prince asks.</p>
<p>	"Very well, thank you. They're eager to hear how I'm doing here in Haeguk."</p>
<p>	"You are doing well, I trust?" It's a bit of a pointed question, but Jongdae's grandmother can get away with that by virtue of her age, and her tone isn't harsh.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun's smile doesn't falter. "I am. Having never visited Haeguk before, I didn't know what to expect when I arrived here, but I've enjoyed getting to know everyone and learning more about your country."</p>
<p>	"We've enjoyed having you here as well." Jongdae's mother is good at hiding her true thoughts and feelings, but Jongdae knows that she thinks well of Baekhyun so far, though whether she's <i>enjoyed</i> his company like Jongdae has, he can't really say.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun bobs his head politely. "I hope we will be able to continue to enjoy our time together."</p>
<p>	There's a question buried in there, and the queen smoothly answers it by saying, "I hope so too."</p>
<p>	Although there will be official gifts for Baekhyun on the part of the entire royal family later, those are ostentatious and relatively impersonal. Given that, Jongdae chose a gift of his own that the servants bring forth now. "I remember that you expressed interest in music, so I thought you might enjoy this. Perhaps we can practice together some time." </p>
<p>	A servant presents Baekhyun with a bipa much like Jongdae's, but with the wood a rich, darker brown. Baekhyun smiles widely as he takes the instrument, telling Jongdae that he judged his tastes correctly. "Thank you very much. I'll have to learn how to play, though I fear it will lose something without you singing along."</p>
<p>	"Would you like me as a present too?" Jongdae jokes, realizing a moment too late how that sounds and what company they're in. Heat rises in his cheeks, and he hopes he's not visibly blushing.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun laughs too loudly for their present company before he catches himself and responds more sedately, "I would be quite content with you coming and playing with me sometimes."</p>
<p>	Jongdae's family is silent and, when he hazards a glance at them, they're pretending not to have noticed anything untoward about their words or behavior. Relieved, Jongdae turns back to Baekhyun. "I would be happy to," he says calmly, and doesn't overthink it when he enjoys Baekhyun's answering smile.</p>
<p>	Jongdae has a lot to do today, enough that he forgoes his usual sparring and is still occupied until it's time to get ready for the party. The servants dress him in a particularly fine outfit, and then he makes his way to the great hall, joining his family and Baekhyun to make a grand entrance. Today's celebration is the largest since Baekhyun came to Haeguk, with a sizable crowd mingling in front of the table where the royal family sits. All the conversations stop as they make way for the royals to enter with appropriate dignity.</p>
<p>	Parties like this can be dull when you're a prince and can't mingle freely, but sitting next to Baekhyun, Jongdae doesn't get bored. They talk easily, about the food and the party guests and how it's strange to think that they're twenty-four already this year (prompting an amused comment from the high princess about how twenty-four is hardly so old). </p>
<p>	They're interrupted regularly by well-wishers, bringing birthday greetings and sometimes gifts for Baekhyun. Some of the attending nobles seem genuine, but others offer stiff smiles or bland birthday wishes, clearly less than happy about Baekhyun's presence. They won't be outright rude in front of the queen, but their displeasure is easy to read. It doesn't surprise Jongdae that some nobles still disapprove of Gwanguk's prince and what he represents, and it doesn't seem to surprise Baekhyun either. He keeps an even smile on his face and responds with the same enthusiasm regardless of how he's spoken to, so that no one has any excuse to take offense.</p>
<p>	After they've finished their meal and delicious birthday desserts, Jongdae's parents and grandmother stay at the table while he and Baekhyun walk around, flanked by their guards. They talk briefly to a number of nobles before turning and finding themselves face to face with Minseok and Junmyeon. Baekhyun greets them cheerfully, and Jongdae does the same just a beat too late. </p>
<p>	There's no reason for it to be uncomfortable, but this feels different than when Baekhyun has attended council meetings, with no business to focus on. More than that, Minseok is well dressed for the special occasion and Jongdae worries that he might somehow give away how much he likes seeing him like this. Thankfully, Baekhyun isn't looking at him, telling Minseok and Jongdae, "You two are looking very nice tonight. I'm glad to see you here."</p>
<p>	"Thank you for having us here," Junmyeon says, "and happy birthday!"</p>
<p>	"Yes, happy birthday!" Minseok echoes. He looks the tiniest bit uncomfortable too, but Jongdae is surprised to see a certain fondness in the smile he gives Baekhyun. He knows from both of them that Minseok and Baekhyun have been meeting in the library occasionally, but he hadn't realized that Minseok had warmed up to Baekhyun that much.</p>
<p>	"Thank you," Baekhyun responds, smiling brightly.</p>
<p>	"We won't occupy too much of your time. I know you have many more people to greet." Junmyeon's words are casual, but Jongdae suspects he's noticed Minseok's discomfort, or Jongdae's, and is giving them a break. He appreciates it, though he's also disappointed that it means he won't get to look at Minseok any longer. He suspects it will be too late for them to meet by the time the party is over.</p>
<p>	They say their goodbyes and continue on, their interactions going smoothly until a man with his back to them declares, so loudly it's clearly meant for them to overhear, "I never thought I would see the day that we would celebrate one of those butchers, right here in Gimgyeong. What did we fight for all those years?"</p>
<p>	Baekhyun tenses beside Jongdae, his guards also going on alert. The pudgy grey-haired man, a minor noble who is so rarely invited to the castle that Jongdae has forgotten his name, isn't a physical threat, but it's an embarrassment to the royal family for their guest to be insulted, and there's a danger that more people could be emboldened to speak up by his words. He's certainly not the only one present who isn't fond of Gwanguk.</p>
<p>	It's Jongdae's duty as a prince to defend Baekhyun, but he also finds himself angrily wanting to protect his friend. He understands that war leaves scars and resentments, but they've been at peace for eight years, and besides, Baekhyun is no more responsible for the deaths in that war than Jongdae is. He's doing his best to ensure that no one else needs to die, even though it may mean leaving his home and family behind, and this man has no right to call him a butcher.</p>
<p>	"Do you think we're still at war?" he asks, in a commanding tone that reminds everyone that he's the crown prince and should be respected.</p>
<p>	The man turns, not hiding his irritation. His companions and several bystanders also don't look impressed with Jongdae's response, though most look worried or merely curious. "Of course not, your majesty. But we have spent so long at war and lost so many."</p>
<p>	It's difficult to respond, because that's the truth, but to Jongdae, it only underscores how important peace is. "Haeguk and Gwanguk both lost many soldiers in the wars between our countries, and Prince Baekhyun and I both regret those losses." He looks to Baekhyun, who gives a sharp nod of agreement. "Prince Baekhyun himself killed no one, and he is here to help us find peace, a lasting peace that means no one else will have to die. You damage that cause by speaking ill of him."</p>
<p>	Jongdae may not be king yet, but he's still royalty, and this man knows better than to argue with him. There's silence as he looks for a response that he can get away with, but before he does, Baekhyun speaks up. "I don't ask you to like me, or my father, or my country, or to care about our interests. But for your own sake and for the people of Haeguk, recognize that peace means you won't have to lose anyone else. Recognize that this is what your queen wants for her country."</p>
<p>	The man looks particularly disgruntled now, but Jongdae catches some approving looks from other people watching them. He's glad of that, despite guilt twisting in his stomach at the awareness that he's putting his own desires before that peace. Ignoring that, he says, "Times have changed. I hope all the people of Haeguk can learn to accept that." </p>
<p>	Without waiting for a response, Jongdae turns away, and Baekhyun follows his lead. They make their way back to the royal table in silence, except for a quiet "Thank you" from Baekhyun just before they arrive.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	The remainder of the evening passes without further incident, but Jongdae is glad when the party dies down. The royals leave together, and Jongdae and Baekhyun start to walk toward their chambers. Jongdae is thinking about going to sleep, since he's sure Minseok is going home, but Baekhyun says, "Is it too late to go to the baths? That seems like a pleasant way to end the day."</p>
<p>	They've gone twice more together since their initial visit, though less so as the weather has warmed up. It does seem like a good way to wind down after a long day, so Jongdae says, "As you like, since it's your birthday."</p>
<p>	They separate to change into robes and meet at the baths soon after, dipping gratefully into the hot water. Baekhyun closes his eyes, and Jongdae absently studies him. The air is less steamy on warmer days, but it still lays a haze over Baekhyun's relaxed expression, making him look like a painting. Spots of color rise on his cheeks from the heat, somehow accentuating his pink lips, and once he notices that, Jongdae looks away. To distract himself, he asks, "Was there any news in the letter you received from your family?"</p>
<p>	"Oh, yes. My brother has another child on the way. His second, expected in the fall." Baekhyun looks thrilled at the news, making Jongdae smile.</p>
<p>	"That's wonderful."</p>
<p>	"It is. I enjoy being an uncle, I must say." Jongdae can just imagine Baekhyun playing with the crown prince's child—a girl, he knows. They talk about her for a few minutes before the conversation lapses and Baekhyun says, suddenly much quieter, "I wanted to thank you for earlier."</p>
<p>	"There's no need. It wasn't right for him to say such things."</p>
<p>	Baekhyun looks at Jongdae, thoughtful, almost somber. It's a rare expression on his face, at least in Jongdae's experience. "Do you...do you think that peace is possible? Real, lasting peace, at last?"</p>
<p>	Jongdae gives the question the consideration it deserves, though it brings back that feeling of guilt. "If there's one thing I've learned from spending time with you, it's that our two countries are not so very different. We have so much to gain if we can accept our situation and peacefully cooperate instead of wasting lives and resources on war." That much is easy to say, but he continues more slowly, "I want that to happen, and I think you do too. I believe that...we can find a way to heal the rift between our two countries.</p>
<p>	Jongdae wonders if peace can really happen without him being willing to give up as much as Baekhyun is by leaving his home and family. But he still believes that there's a chance, that Baekhyun will understand if Jongdae tells him the truth one day, when they know each other better. Baekhyun is a good man—that much he's sure of. He just hopes that that's enough.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Baekhyun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Baekhyun writes a letter back to his family the day after his birthday. There's a possibility someone in Haeguk will find a way to read the letter, so he's cautious about what he writes, but he doesn't really have anything to hide. He writes that he and Jongdae are getting along well, and that the rest of the royal family and the court have also been good to him. (He doesn't mention the incident at the party, because his family knows as well as he does that there are people in both Haeguk and Gwanguk who oppose his potential marriage, and it's not worth discussing if they're only making snide comments.)</p><p>	He writes that he is happy to remain here in Haeguk as his father sees fit, though he's excited to come home and meet his new niece or nephew in the fall. He wonders how things will be different by then; will he and Jongdae be engaged, or still figuring things out? It shouldn't take another five months to get to know each other well enough to decide to be married, not for royalty who aren't getting married out of love, but Baekhyun is in no particular hurry. He'll have to see if his father is more impatient or willing for him and Jongdae to continue to take their time.</p><p>	The letter goes off to Sangyeong the following morning, and Baekhyun makes his way to breakfast with the royal family as usual. Although he's become closest to Jongdae, interacting with him in a much more casual way, Baekhyun has also enjoyed getting to know Jongdae's parents and grandmother. He remembers hearing people cursing the names of Queen Inhye and King Jaeyong when he was younger, particularly during the last war, making them out to be demons eager to taste the blood of the people of Gwanguk, but they're nothing like that.</p><p>	The queen, from what Baekhyun sees, is tough but fair, much like his father, wanting what's best for her country and her people. High Prince Jaeyong and High Princess Dahee no longer wield the same power as they did while ruling, but they remain invested in helping the queen run Haeguk well. It's hard, in a way, to reconcile that with the knowledge that Haeguk is responsible for the deaths of so many people in Gwanguk, but there's nothing they can do to change that now, only resolve to move forward in peace. That's what he wants for his country, for his brother's upcoming rule and the lives of his brother's children.</p><p>	It takes almost a month for Baekhyun to receive another letter, this one from his father, along with an additional letter addressed Queen Inhye. In the letter to Baekhyun, the king expresses his approval of the progress he's made and says that he is free to remain as long as necessary. What it really means is that Baekhyun <i>should</i> stay, not that it's his choice, but he doesn't mind. This is by far the longest he's been away from home, but it's not so bad now that he's used to it.</p><p>	Baekhyun gives the other letter to the queen at breakfast, and she reads it before saying, "King Chanwoo asks that we allow you to remain here, which of course we are pleased to do. We have greatly enjoyed your company."</p><p>	The queen's words are polite and formal, but Jongdae's sentiments seem entirely genuine when he tells Baekhyun later, as they make their way to their usual sparring session, "I'm glad you're staying longer. It would feel lonely in the castle with you gone."</p><p>	"Aww, you're sweet," Baekhyun teases to camouflage his own feelings. The thought of leaving Jongdae makes him feel lonely too, and he finds himself happy to think that he may well not have to do that. Jongdae has become a good friend in a relatively short time, and the prospect of having Jongdae by his side for the rest of his life appeals to Baekhyun. Of course, marriage is not just about being good friends, but when it comes to an arranged marriage, that's already more than many people get.</p><p>	"You could at least pretend that you like spending time with me," Jongdae grumbles, his smile belying his words.</p><p>	"You're my favorite out of all the princes I've met in Haeguk," Baekhyun responds. Jongdae rolls his eyes, still smiling. They've reached the barracks, and Baekhyun turns to Jongdae and impulsively asks, "What do you think about sparring with me?"</p><p>	Until now, by mutual unspoken agreement, they've only sparred with their respective guards, not wanting to risk embarrassing or accidentally injuring each other and thereby insulting one of their countries. It's probably safer to continue that way, but it's approaching three months since they met and they're working their way toward a likely marriage. Surely at some point they can spar a little without causing a major incident.</p><p>	He can see Jongdae making the same calculations before he concludes, "All right. But no weapons."</p><p>	Their guards stand back as Baekhyun and Jongdae face off against each other. It's a hot day, late spring trying to jump ahead to midsummer, and Jongdae is wearing a vest that leaves his arms exposed. The look suits him, making him look strong and masculine, Baekhyun absently thinks, and then wonders at himself. He's never paid much attention to Jongdae's—or any man's—appearance, not like that, and he doesn't know why he'd suddenly start now.</p><p>	He doesn't have time to think about that because Jongdae comes at him. Baekhyun dodges his charge and sends Jongdae flying, laughing when he splutters indignantly. "I might regret agreeing to this," Jongdae says wryly, but he doesn't hesitate to attack again. Baekhyun avoids his first punch, but the second scores a glancing hit to his side and the third gets him hard in the stomach, making him stumble back. Jongdae smirks, pleased with himself, but Baekhyun doesn't take offense.</p><p>	They're fairly evenly matched, it turns out. Baekhyun moves a little better, neatly evading many of Jongdae's attacks, but Jongdae is a little stronger, which he uses to his advantage once they start grappling. Baekhyun manages to flip Jongdae onto the ground, but Jongdae drags Baekhyun down with him, and they roll around in the dirt until Jongdae finally pins Baekhyun down so securely that he has to admit defeat.</p><p>	Baekhyun goes limp, arms flopping out to either side. "It seems I'm the one who needs to regret this."</p><p>	Jongdae stays where he is, grinning down at Baekhyun. He's sweaty, his cheeks flushed, and he looks quite pleased with himself. "You don't enjoy a good fight?"</p><p>	"On occasion." Baekhyun becomes aware, slowly, that Jongdae is spread out on top of him, knees bracketing his hips, a far more intimate position than they've ever been in before. It doesn't mean anything while fighting, of course, but the fight is over and here they are, close enough to kiss (or do much more than that).</p><p>	Abruptly, he wriggles out from under Jongdae and sits up. Jongdae doesn't seem to think anything of his behavior, still smiling at him. For his part, Baekhyun shrugs off those strange thoughts. It's only that so much physical contact is rare for a prince, let alone two princes together. Jongdae stands up and offers Baekhyun a hand, which he takes without hesitation. "Are you up for another round?" Jongdae asks.</p><p>	"Of course!" Baekhyun isn't one to back down from a challenge.</p><p>	Baekhyun does better the second time around, knocking Jongdae to the ground several times, but he always scrambles to his feet before Baekhyun can pin him there. Jongdae catches Baekhyun in a bear hug from behind, chuckling breathlessly as Baekhyun struggles futilely to break free. Baekhyun is particularly aware of Jongdae's strong arms like this, and of his body pressed tight against Baekhyun's back. Even as he tries to figure out how to escape, a part of him thinks, <i>Am I </i>interested<i> in Jongdae?</i></p><p>	He finally manages to get out of Jongdae's hold, leading to a whirlwind of wrestling that ends in Jongdae facedown on the ground with Baekhyun's knee in the middle of his back. Any possible attraction to Jongdae is forgotten as Baekhyun smugly declares, "There we go!"</p><p>	"That was fun," Jongdae says when Baekhyun lets him up, not looking at all offended. "Thank you."</p><p>	He's dusty and rumpled and still looks good, but Baekhyun doesn't think about that anymore, only smiles and says, "Thank you." He enjoyed sparring with Jongdae, and if he learned anything else this morning, he has time enough to figure that out.</p><p> </p><p>	A few days later, Baekhyun catches Minseok in the library again. They've met here a number of times now since that first accidental encounter, not consistently, but once or twice most weeks. Minseok has remained somewhat guarded around Baekhyun, sticking stubbornly to formality despite Baekhyun's insistence than he can speak more freely and casually when they're alone. That nags at Baekhyun a little, makes him wonder if Minseok doesn't like him and is hiding it behind polite behavior, but mostly he writes that off as paranoia.</p><p>	They've talked about a range of topics, depending on what Baekhyun asks about, from agriculture in the southern provinces to the occasional childhood story about Jongdae. Minseok doesn't ask many questions in return, but he seems interested when Baekhyun shares stories of his own, about Gwanguk and his life there. Their conversations are more circumspect than the ones Baekhyun has with Jongdae, given their unequal footing and that they haven't gotten to know each other as well, but on the other hand, Baekhyun feels less need to impress Minseok, and that makes it easier to say some things he might not to Jongdae.</p><p>	Today, after they greet each other, Baekhyun finds himself asking, "What do you think about marriage?"</p><p>	Minseok is understandably perplexed by the question, confusion making him look adorably childish. "In what sense?"</p><p>	Baekhyun shrugs, not sure himself what he wants to ask. He thinks about his initial expectations of what an arranged marriage to Jongdae would be like, and about those feelings he hasn't worked through yet that he might be interested in Jongdae in a way that isn't strictly platonic. "You're older, right? Have your parents tried to push you into marriage?"</p><p>	 Minseok shifts in his chair, making Baekhyun think that he's uncomfortable with the topic. "They would like me to get married, yes. They are willing to wait until I find someone I want, but they have also made suggestions."</p><p>	"Would you accept an arranged marriage someday? Or do you want to wait until you fall in love?" Now Minseok definitely looks uncomfortable. Baekhyun wonders why that is. Is there someone he's secretly in love with, or is he self-conscious about not having found anyone?</p><p>	"Only time will tell," Minseok says vaguely.</p><p>	Baekhyun doesn't push, instead saying, "Jongdae strikes me as the romantic type who would want to fall in love, though I suppose a prince always knows he may not be able to freely choose."</p><p>	Minseok doesn't seem to like this topic either, though Baekhyun finds his expression harder to read now. "That's true." Uncharacteristically, he responds with a question of his own. "What about you, your majesty?"</p><p>	"Am I romantic? Not particularly." In the past, Baekhyun's affections and attractions have always flared up quickly and faded out equally quickly. What's happening with Jongdae is quite different, with them becoming friends first and Baekhyun only starting to think now, after nearly three months, that he might be attracted to Jongdae.</p><p>	"Then does it not bother you to marry without love?"</p><p>	There's something underlying Minseok's question, and Baekhyun tries to figure out what it is. Is he feeling protective of Jongdae, wanting to know that Baekhyun won't take marriage to him lightly? "I'm prepared to do what's necessary," he says. "But if you're concerned about Jongdae...we've become good friends, and I hope that we'll continue to become closer. I don't want to see him hurt."</p><p>	"Are you determined to marry him, no matter what?" Baekhyun is startled by the direct question, and Minseok also seems taken aback once he realizes what he said. "I apologize, I should—"</p><p>	"It's all right," Baekhyun cuts in. "It's a fair question." He appreciates, in a way, that Minseok is being direct with him when so many of his conversations involve carefully dancing around the truth. "I'm determined to make lasting peace between Gwanguk and Haeguk happen. I believe, as does my father, that marriage is the best way to ensure that. But if Jongdae doesn't want to marry me and I can't convince him otherwise, I wouldn't want to see him forced into it." Minseok's expression is somber, but Baekhyun thinks he catches a hint of approval in it. "I suppose you'll tell Jongdae I said that?" he asks wryly.</p><p>	Minseok hesitates for a moment before he says, "No. But I hope that if it comes to that, you will tell him yourself."</p><p>	Baekhyun nods, though he's thinking that he very much hopes he'll never need to offer Jongdae a way out. "I will." </p><p> </p><p>	The summery warm weather turns abruptly cold and rainy at the end of the week, and as he sits in front of the fire in his chambers after dinner, Baekhyun finds himself thinking of the baths. Jongdae said he was free to go on his own, but he much prefers company, so he changes into a robe and makes his way to Jongdae's chambers. The guard at the door tells him that Jongdae is out but goes strangely stiff when Baekhyun asks where he is. "In the royal baths," the man answers.</p><p>	"Oh, just where I was thinking of going," Baekhyun says, though he wonders at the guard's hesitation. At the door to the Jongdae's section of the baths, Baekhyun finds the familiar face of Jongdae's regular guard, Sehun. "Is Jongdae still in?" he asks.</p><p>	Sehun usually keeps a very bland expression on his face, and now is no different. "He is."</p><p>	"Would it be all right if I join him? He did say I could use the baths any time."</p><p>	There's a strange pause before Sehun responds, though his expression doesn't change. "I suppose." He moves aside to let Baekhyun in. Jongdae's other personal guard, Chanyeol, is standing by the inner door, and his expression shows surprise at the sight of Baekhyun. "Tell his majesty that Prince Baekhyun has come to join him," Sehun says.</p><p>	Baekhyun thinks it strange that Jongdae needs a warning until Chanyeol opens the door and he hears laughter and a voice he can't quite place. Is someone in there with Jongdae? "If I'm interrupting..." he starts, but Sehun is already back outside and Chanyeol isn't paying attention. He can't hear what Chanyeol says in his low voice. Whatever it is, Jongdae and the other person go quiet.</p><p>	"Go ahead, your majesty," Chanyeol says.</p><p>	Baekhyun feels awkward now, but it can't be helped. He quickly takes off his robe and goes to the door. In the bath, he sees Jongdae, and to his surprise, not far away is Minseok. He's aware, of course, that Minseok is a good friend of Jongdae's, but he'd thought that the royal baths were only for royalty. "Hello!" he says, trying to mask his uncertainty with enthusiasm. "I'm sorry for interrupting. I didn't realize you had company."</p><p>	"It's all right." Jongdae's smile reassures him, but Minseok looks tense. "Come in."</p><p>	"Do you come to the baths often?" Baekhyun asks Minseok, unable to restrain his curiosity.</p><p>	"Only occasionally, your majesty."</p><p>	Baekhyun laughs, and it seems too loud in this space. "Surely you don't need to call me 'your majesty' when we're naked in the bath together. If there was ever a time to finally speak less formally, this is it."</p><p>	Minseok might be blushing, but it's possible his cheeks are only red from the heat. "If you insist." His eyes dart over toward Jongdae, and Jongdae smiles warmly, as though trying to comfort him.</p><p>	"It's a good day for a hot bath, isn't it?" Baekhyun comments. "I thought these cold days were behind us."</p><p>	"So did I," Jongdae says. </p><p>	The conversation lapses, and Baekhyun lets it, still somehow feeling like an intruder. He'd hoped to enjoy the baths and to spend some time with Jongdae, perhaps taking the opportunity to see more of his body and determine whether he really is interested, or just to have a good conversation. Instead, he's faced with a quiet Jongdae and an anxious Minseok and a situation he can't quite figure out.</p><p>	Minseok stands up in the bath, so that the water only comes to his waist, and leans against the side. "Warm?" Jongdae asks, and Minseok nods. It feels like a familiar interaction, like they've been here together many times before and know each other's habits, and Baekhyun doesn't know what to think of that. Wouldn't Jongdae have mentioned it if it was normal to bring friends or other nobles to the royal baths?</p><p>	Minseok and Jongdae are both looking down, so Baekhyun takes the opportunity to study Minseok. He looks so small and young normally that Baekhyun is surprised to see that he has a wiry strong torso and arms, the muscles subtle, but visible from across the bath. He doesn't look so childish like this, with his damp hair pushed back off his face. He looks, in fact, like a good-looking young man, and that thought forces Baekhyun to consider the possibility he's been avoiding: that Minseok is here because he and Jongdae are more than just good friends.</p><p>	He remembers, suddenly, that night only a few weeks after he arrived in the castle when Minseok came to Jongdae's chambers in the evening, supposedly to talk business. Minseok looked uncomfortable then too, and no wonder if Baekhyun had interrupted his nighttime visit to Jongdae, as he's now interrupting their romantic bath together. No wonder Minseok looked so uncomfortable a few days ago when Baekhyun tried to talk to him about marrying Jongdae, and about love. What was he supposed to say when he's secretly in love with Jongdae?</p><p>	Baekhyun would like to be wrong about this, but the more he thinks about, the more it makes sense. He's noticed all along that Jongdae is close to Minseok, closer than to Junmyeon, who he also grew up with. Until now, he didn't read anything into Jongdae wanting to take it slow in getting to know each other before making any plans for marriage, but perhaps he should have. He's been quite enthusiastic about being Baekhyun's friend, but more reticent when it comes to marriage. Of course he would be if there's someone else he would like to marry.</p><p>	"I'm sorry to be poor company tonight," Jongdae says, making Baekhyun and Minseok both jump. "It's been a busy day and it seems I'm more tired than I realized."</p><p>	<i>It sounded like you were doing fine with Minseok earlier,</i> Baekhyun thinks, but he only says, "Don't worry on my account." After a moment, against his better judgment, he adds, "I can talk to Minseok instead. We're good friends, aren't we?"</p><p>	"I suppose we must be if I'm allowed to speak casually to you while we're...what was it you said, 'naked in the bath together?'" Minseok's wry tone surprises Baekhyun, especially under these circumstances, and he doesn't know how to feel about it. He's wanted to be friends with Minseok, to interact more comfortably, but at the moment, aware that he's probably put his foot in his mouth many times while talking to Minseok before, he's more ambivalent.</p><p>	"Is this what he's like when he's not being polite?" Baekhyun asks Jongdae. He's still weighing his feelings, but responding with a joke comes naturally. </p><p>	"He's usually nicer to me," Jongdae says, "but he does have his moments."</p><p>	Baekhyun laughs in spite of himself, in spite of everything. He feels embarrassed and worried about what this means for his purpose here, and honestly a little hurt, not to mention still not entirely sure that he's read the situation right, but that's all too much for right now. For now, he's going to remember that Jongdae is a friend, and Minseok is on his way to becoming one too. Everything more complicated than that can wait until morning.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Minseok</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As luck would have it, Baekhyun has been invited to a meeting of Jongdae's council the very next morning after their time in the baths together. Minseok is nervous as he walks into the hall, largely ignoring Junmyeon chattering at his side. He saw the surprise on Baekhyun's face last night, the way he didn't know what to make of Jongdae bringing Minseok to the royal baths. It's extremely rare for anyone other than visiting royalty to be invited to the baths, and practically unheard of for anyone of Minseok's status, and while Baekhyun may not know that, he'd be right to read into it.</p>
<p>	After his initial surprise, he didn't say or do anything to make Minseok think he knows, or at least suspects, that Jongdae and Minseok's relationship is more than just that of good friends, but perhaps he thought differently after some time to consider it, or perhaps he's thinking of the right way and time to raise the issue. Even if he doesn't suspect them yet, maybe he will if Jongdae and Minseok let something slip in conversation, or look at each other in a way that reveals too much.</p>
<p>	Jongdae and Baekhyun are already at the table when they arrive, along with the other three advisors. Their conversation seems perfectly casual, as do the smiles they turn on Minseok and Junmyeon. Minseok tries not to show his nerves, since that will only give Baekhyun more cause for suspicion. He can't say if he's successful, but no one comments as they sit down. "Our apologies for keeping you waiting," Junmyeon says politely.</p>
<p>	"Not at all." Jongdae smiles easily, like there are no worries on his mind, but Minseok knows that he's become very good at hiding his feelings over the years, even from those who know him best. There's no telling what he's really thinking.</p>
<p>	The council meeting itself is quite mundane, discussing the existing cross-border cooperation between Haeguk and Gwanguk under their current treaty and some possibilities for the future. Normally, Minseok does his best to focus during meetings, listening to the knowledgeable older advisors and contributing wherever he can. Today, though, it's impossible to keep his mind on the topic at hand. </p>
<p>	He studies Baekhyun's expression, trying to figure out what he knows, and then looks away, worrying that he's being too obvious about it. He pointedly doesn't look at Jongdae, but then thinks that that will be suspicious too and tries to look at him casually, like he's not in love with him and worried that after so many years of hiding it, they've finally given themselves away. He tries to look serious but not worried, to smile but not so much that it seems forced, to hide his nerves but not look overly blank.</p>
<p>	By the end of the meeting, Minseok feels exhausted. He uses that as an excuse to go home for the afternoon, though his major motivation is wanting to avoid the possibility of running into Baekhyun in the library. He can't avoid him for too long without arousing suspicion that way, but they've never planned regular meetings, so it won't be strange if Minseok isn't there for a day or two.</p>
<p>	Minseok returns to the castle that night, and Jongdae is all smiles when he arrives. Minseok lets him steer the conversation toward various light topics, and it's all right until Jongdae shifts from talking about his recent sparring mishaps to saying, "You should have seen Baekhyun this morning, though. He's a great fighter, but he was sparring with Jongin—his guard—and he tripped over a rock and just went straight down. Luckily, he caught himself so he didn't land on his face, and there was no major damage."</p>
<p>	"That's good," Minseok says neutrally.</p>
<p>	"I don't know if I ever told you since you weren't home yet, but we first started becoming friendly because he tripped while I was giving him a tour of the gardens, and we both couldn't help laughing. So of course I had to remind him of that today."</p>
<p>	Jongdae is grinning, but whatever he sees on Minseok's face makes his smile falter. Minseok doesn't know what shows, but what he's thinking is that Jongdae has become very fond of Baekhyun in the few months they've known each other. Given time, could Jongdae fall for him enough that he'd be willing to give up Minseok? It's not that Minseok <i>wants</i> Jongdae to let him go, but it would be simpler, and better for the country, and maybe for Jongdae too.</p>
<p>	Jongdae doesn't say anything, only stands up, prompting Minseok to follow him into the bedroom. With the door closed behind them, Jongdae moves to kiss him, but Minseok says, "Wait."</p>
<p>	Now Jongdae's smile disappears entirely. "What is it?"</p>
<p>	"I wanted to ask you..." Minseok isn't ready to talk about those thoughts, so instead he asks, "Do you think Baekhyun suspects anything?"</p>
<p>	"After the baths?" Minseok nods. "I don't know. He seemed surprised to see you, but he hasn't said anything. For all he knows, I might bring many people there, right?"</p>
<p>	"I don't know." Minseok bites his lip, and Jongdae grabs his hand to comfort him.</p>
<p>	"Maybe he suspects, but he doesn't know for sure. And I think...I can't be sure, but I don't think he'll be angry and try to get us in trouble even if he does find out. So don't worry too much, all right? We'll be fine."</p>
<p>	Minseok isn't so sure, especially with those other doubts weighing on him, but talking more won't change anything. He leans in to kiss Jongdae and forgets about the rest for now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Minseok avoids the library for another two days, making up excuses in case he needs to explain himself the next time he sees Baekhyun, but finally he decides to go. Baekhyun isn't there, and Minseok thinks it would just figure if he doesn't come today. He passes nearly two hours nervously trying to focus on reading before Baekhyun arrives, accompanied as usual by his guards and Yixing.</p>
<p>	"Oh, you're here!" It's hard not to smile at the way Baekhyun's face lights up, as ambivalent as Minseok's feelings toward him are. "I missed you yesterday, and I'm running late today so I thought I would again."</p>
<p>	"Hello, your majesty," Minseok greets him with his usual politeness.</p>
<p>	"Oh, come on. I thought we'd finally moved past all that formality after the baths." Baekhyun is still smiling, but Minseok thinks he catches a bit of tension in his expression at the mention of the baths. Then again, maybe he's just projecting his own worries onto Baekhyun. When Minseok doesn't argue, he presses, "Call me Baekhyun, at least when it's just the two of us here."</p>
<p>	With everything else on his mind, how he addresses Baekhyun is the least of Minseok's concerns. Besides, they have been spending a good amount of time talking in the library. It wouldn't be so strange to consider them friends. "All right," Minseok concedes. "Baekhyun it is." Baekhyun grins that much more widely, and Minseok automatically smiles back.</p>
<p>	They talk for a while about the weather and the vibrant colors of the garden as summer approaches, progressing onto other similarly light topics. Baekhyun makes it easy to keep a conversation going, even with Minseok still distracted. If Baekhyun is evaluating him, or if he's already convinced that something is going on between Minseok and Jongdae, Minseok can't see any sign of it in his words or his behavior or even his body language. Is he pretending, or is he really not concerned?</p>
<p>	The smart thing for Minseok to do, perhaps, would be to let Baekhyun continue to steer the conversation and act as normal as he can, but he finds his mind drifting not only to his worries about Baekhyun knowing but to his doubts about whether it's right for him to stay with Jongdae. He's had them from the beginning, even before Baekhyun was in the picture, but they're much stronger now. </p>
<p>	He can see that Jongdae likes Baekhyun, if not necessarily in a romantic way. He can also see that Baekhyun is a good person who, he thinks, likes Jongdae too. They could be good together, given the chance, and maybe even fall in love in time, as people in arranged marriages sometimes do. Wouldn't it be best if Minseok stepped back and gave them that chance? Even for his own sake, maybe that's the best choice, leaving Jongdae on his own terms rather than waiting and waiting only to find out in the end that there's no way for them to stay together.</p>
<p>	Abruptly, against his better judgment, Minseok blurts out, "What do you think of Jongdae?"</p>
<p>	Baekhyun blinks at him, probably more confused by the abrupt change of subject than anything else. "I think many things about Jongdae. Why do you ask?"</p>
<p>	Minseok shrugs. What he really wants to know is whether Baekhyun's current affection for Jongdae could turn into love, or if perhaps it already has, but there's no way he can ask that. Instead, he says, "You've been here three months now. Have you given any thought to the prospect of marrying him?"</p>
<p>	"Of course I have." Baekhyun seems amused at Minseok asking such a silly question, but also if Minseok isn't imagining things, a little uncertain. If he does suspect something, he must be wondering why Minseok would want to talk about him marrying Jongdae.</p>
<p>	"I mean..." Minseok tries to figure out what to ask, even as he wonders if he really wants to know the answer to any of his questions. "Does the prospect appeal to you?"</p>
<p>	Baekhyun studies him for a long moment, a little furrow visible in his brow. Finally, he says, "Jongdae and I get along well. I think we could be good together." He hesitates again, and for a moment Minseok is almost positive that he sees hurt, or maybe disappointment, in Baekhyun's expression. He might even call it wistfulness. Whatever it is, it makes him think that Baekhyun has realized that something is going on between Jongdae and Minseok, but also that he is, if only a little bit, interested in Jongdae romantically—that he wants what Minseok has with Jongdae.</p>
<p>	Minseok's first instinct is defensiveness. He doesn't want someone else interested in Jongdae, especially someone Jongdae might be developing an interest in too. But when he thinks about it, he's relieved, in a way. Baekhyun is a decent man, and it seems that he likes Jongdae, or at least is on his way to developing those feelings. It won't be easy for Minseok to give up on Jongdae, but it will be a little easier knowing that he'll still be able to be with someone who loves him, at least in time.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun is looking at him quizzically. "Are you trying to encourage me to marry Jongdae?" he asks when Minseok doesn't say anything.</p>
<p>	"That's up to you," Minseok says. "I only wonder how you feel about it."</p>
<p>	"I..." Baekhyun's smile is smaller than usual, and still a little wistful. "I told you I'm not a romantic, and I never have been, plus I knew I would most likely have an arranged marriage. But I think I could be happy with Jongdae, if things work out." It's rare to see Baekhyun look so hesitant, in Minseok's experience. For a moment, Minseok thinks he might come out and ask if his suspicions are correct, but instead he says, "I won't push him into it, though our parents may. But I hope that...if we do marry, he could be happy with me."</p>
<p>	There's something almost apologetic in his expression now, but Minseok doesn't dare ask why. It's safer, even if he's almost positive that Baekhyun knows now, not to put it in words. "I think he could be," Minseok says. It hurts him to admit that Jongdae could be happy marrying someone else, but it's the truth. Jongdae is an affectionate person; he could very easily come to love Baekhyun if he let himself.</p>
<p>	For a few seconds, the atmosphere feels incredibly tense, but then Baekhyun laughs, albeit nervously. "How did we get from the weather to this? Oh, I just remembered, I wanted to ask you about something that came up in the council meeting the other day..."</p>
<p>	The conversation turns back to safe topics and Minseok tries, though he doesn't entirely succeed, to let himself be distracted. There will be time enough when he's alone to figure out where to go from here.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Minseok thinks a lot about what to do over the next few days, over and over again, but he thinks he's just trying to talk himself out of breaking things off with Jongdae, to come up with a good alternative when it doesn't seem like there is one. He's known since he found out about Baekhyun that this was coming and, if he's honest with himself, he's known all along that he and Jongdae didn't have a future together. Jongdae insisted that they did, and Minseok went along with it because he loves Jongdae and he wanted it to be true, but he knows it's not.</p>
<p>	He still loves Jongdae very much, but he's realizing that the best way to show that love might be to let him go. That way, he can spare Jongdae the pain of having to one day make the choice that he probably already knows is the right one and end his relationship with Minseok. It will be best for Jongdae and for Baekhyun and for Haeguk and Gwanguk, and who knows, maybe it will be best for Minseok too. Maybe he'll find someone he can love without always doubting their future.</p>
<p>	He's nearly managed to convince himself when he goes to see Jongdae just over a week after Baekhyun caught them in the baths, but he puts it out of his mind as best he can. If any night might be his last with Jongdae, he wants to enjoy them to the fullest. With that in mind, when they retreat to the bedroom, he kisses Jongdae for all he's worth, trying to memorize the feel of Jongdae's lips sliding against his, the heat of the mouth and the way his hands clutch at Minseok's clothes.</p>
<p>	They take their clothes off and move onto the bed and Minseok kisses all over Jongdae's body, wanting to taste every inch of him, to make sure he never forgets the way Jongdae looks sprawled out beneath him or the soft and yet hungry expression on his face as he lets Minseok do as he pleases. Minseok's not usually quite this thorough, but occasionally, often enough for Jongdae to not think anything of it. Minseok is glad; he doesn't want to remember Jongdae being sad.</p>
<p>	When he's finally satisfied with his explorations, he spreads Jongdae open slowly, carefully, until he's desperate for it by the time they come together. Minseok loves the sounds Jongdae makes as he moves against him, breathless moans and gasps interspersed with throaty pleas of "Hyung, faster" and sometimes just "Yes" over and over. Minseok kisses him at his climax and drinks down his helpless cry, reveling in the feeling of Jongdae shuddering against him until he falls apart too, any complicated feelings forgotten in the moment of pleasure.</p>
<p>	As their breaths slow and their bodies cool, they curl up together as they usually do. Minseok wraps his arms around Jongdae from behind, holding him close. Part of him wants to turn Jongdae around so he can look at him, memorize every detail of his face (which he'll still be able to see if they're not together, but not like this), but he thinks it's safer this way. Jongdae knows him too well, and he doesn't know what his expression would give away right now.</p>
<p>	"I love you, hyung." Jongdae sounds adorably sleepy, though there's a roughness to his voice that reminds Minseok of what they were doing a moment ago. He likes that about Jongdae, all the contrasts of his looks and personality.</p>
<p>	"I love you too," he responds. It sounds normal as far as he can tell, and Jongdae doesn't seem to find anything suspicious.</p>
<p>	<i>It's time,</i> Minseok tells himself in the silence that follows. <i>You've had a few months more than you deserve—four and a half years more, in truth. Let him go.</i> He doesn't want to do it, but it won't get any easier if he puts it off.</p>
<p>	Normally, sooner or later, Minseok would get up to go home, so there's no risk of someone finding him in Jongdae's chambers in the morning and asking too many questions. He should do that tonight too, but he can't bring himself to break the moment, especially not to break both their hearts. <i>Just this once,</i> he decides. <i>And in the morning I'll do what needs to be done.</i></p>
<p>	"Hyung." Jongdae is mumbling heavily as though he's half asleep already. "Don't you need to go home?"</p>
<p>	"Just this once," he repeats out loud, but keeps the rest to himself. He half expects Jongdae to ask what's going on—after all, in four and a half years, Minseok has never once spent the night, but it seems that he's too tired to overthink. "Goodnight, Jongdae," Minseok murmurs, pressing a kiss into Jongdae's shoulder.</p>
<p>	"Goodnight, hyung," Jongdae responds.</p>
<p>	Perhaps Minseok should be sad thinking that this is the first and the last time he'll sleep in Jongdae's bed, but for now, he isn't. Jongdae is warm in his arms and his body is relaxed from their earlier activities and Minseok just feels grateful, in the end, for what he's been able to have. With that thought in his mind, he peacefully falls asleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	It's jarring waking up with Jongdae because it's so unfamiliar, but nice too. They've shifted during the night and Minseok is lying on his back with Jongdae, also on his back, half on top of him. Jongdae's hair tickles his chin and it makes Minseok smile. He brings his hand up and ruffles Jongdae's hair, and Jongdae says, "Wha—oh, it's you, hyung."</p>
<p>	"Good morning." </p>
<p>	Jongdae rolls over and props himself up on his elbow, smiling at Minseok. "Good morning. I always thought you would look really cute waking up after spending the night, and I was right." He drops a kiss on Minseok's forehead, then his nose, then his mouth.</p>
<p>	"Hm." It always takes Minseok time to get going in the morning, but Jongdae already has so much energy.</p>
<p>	Jongdae has breakfast with his family to get ready for, so as much as he'd like to, Minseok can't put this off any longer. He's so tempted to wait for another day, but there will never be a good time to break up with Jongdae. He just has to do it and trust that it's the right choice, and that in time, they'll both be able to move past it. "Jongdae, I want to talk about something."</p>
<p>	The second the words are out of his mouth, Minseok can see in Jongdae's eyes that he knows what's coming. He knows Minseok too well, and besides, he must have suspected that there was a reason Minseok was suddenly willing to stay the night, when he never had before. He tries not to show it, continuing to smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "What is it?"</p>
<p>	"You know, I've gotten to know Baekhyun better recently." Minseok doesn't know how he's going to do this, but he doesn't think the words matter very much, only that he gets his point across, so Jongdae can understand why he's made this choice and accept it as best he can. "He's a good man, and you to have a lot in common."</p>
<p>	"Minseok-hyung..." Jongdae starts.</p>
<p>	"Let me finish." It comes out almost pleading, and Minseok chokes back his emotions. Later, he can feel whatever he's going to feel. Now, he needs to be resolute. "I've known all along that the...expedient thing to do would be for you to marry Baekhyun. I'm sure you have too. But now I also see that he would be a good person for you to marry. And I...I can't hold you back from that."</p>
<p>	"You're not holding me back!" Jongdae protests. "I'm the one who asked you not to give up, remember?"</p>
<p>	"I remember," Minseok says gently, surprised that his voice stays even now. "And I've tried. But I just don't think we're meant to be together anymore. Maybe we never were."</p>
<p>	Jongdae's eyes are shining with unshed tears and Minseok feels awful. The last thing he wants is to hurt Jongdae, but there's no way to get out of this without him being hurt, one way or another. "Do you really believe that?" he asks thickly.</p>
<p>	Minseok can't look at Jongdae anymore, dropping his eyes to his hands. "I'm sorry. I do love you, but I think this is for the best, for both of us, and for everyone. I think you'll realize it too, after a while."</p>
<p>	A long silence follows, and Minseok reluctantly looks up. Only a tear or two has spilled over from his eyes, but Jongdae is clearly struggling to hold himself together. Jongdae never cries, and seeing it makes Minseok want to hug him tight, but he can't when he's the reason Jongdae is crying. </p>
<p>	"I'm sorry," Minseok says again. He climbs off the bed, looking for his clothes so he has something to do. "I'll understand if you don't want to see me, but I hope we can continue to work together, and to be friends, at least someday." </p>
<p>	Jongdae is silent until Minseok finishes dressing, not moving from his bed. When Minseok looks at him, his eyes are mostly dry, but he still looks miserable. <i>Of course he does. You broke his heart,</i> Minseok scolds himself, as though he didn't also break his own in the process.</p>
<p>	"I'll see you at the next council meeting." Jongdae's voice is flat, very unlike him, but at least he's not crying anymore. "That doesn't need to change. About the rest...give me time." Jongdae meets Minseok's eyes, and gives him a sad little smile. "You probably need time too, right?" He sounds so uncertain, and Minseok can't believe that Jongdae would doubt that this is difficult for him too, that he cares too. He nods, not trusting his voice. </p>
<p>	"Have a good day, hyung." Jongdae pauses after the last word, as though thinking that maybe he shouldn't use it anymore, or maybe only that he won't have a chance to if they don't spend more time alone like this.</p>
<p>	"You too," Minseok says, and quickly leaves. It won't get any easier if he stays. He can only hope that in time, being without Jongdae will get easier.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Jongdae</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jongdae thought, in the terrible first few days after Minseok broke off their relationship, that in time, it would hurt less. Maybe it will, eventually, but one week later, it's still a raw wound, a pain he's constantly aware of even as he goes about his days like nothing has changed. It's impossible not to think about it when he has memories of Minseok associated with everywhere in the castle and with everything he does. And it doesn't help that he still sees Minseok in council meetings, and that seeing Baekhyun every day reminds Jongdae of what Minseok said about him.</p>
<p>	Minseok is right that Baekhyun is a good man. He's right that Jongdae and Baekhyun have a lot in common. He's right that it would be politically expedient for Jongdae to marry Baekhyun, and that they could be good together. He's right that their marriage would be the best thing for the country—for both countries. But even knowing all of that, Jongdae can't accept that it's the right thing for <i>him</i> to marry Baekhyun. More accurately, he can't accept that it isn't right for him to marry Minseok.</p>
<p>	Minseok is the only person Jongdae has ever loved—the only person he ever dated. He always knew that there would be obstacles in their way, but he firmly believed that they could overcome them together. He knew, also, that Minseok had his doubts, but he thought that Minseok wanted to be with him badly enough to keep trying. It hurts to find out that he was wrong. It makes him a little angry, even, and that just makes it worse because he doesn't want to be angry with Minseok.</p>
<p>	In the end, if he's honest, Jongdae is angry with himself most of all, for being naïve, and for being weak, forcing Minseok to make the proper, princely decision that he should have been able to make himself. He's angry with himself for not being enough to keep Minseok, though he knows that's irrational, and for coping so poorly now. He's not an angry person, usually, and it feels wrong to be like this, but that only makes him angrier.</p>
<p>	The hardest thing is that he has no one to talk to about it. He's always gone to Minseok with problems he couldn't share with anyone else, but he can't do that now. Baekhyun may be becoming a good friend, but not good enough to share real problems—and of course Jongdae can't talk to him about this. He trusts Junmyeon but doesn't want to put him in the middle of this when he's Minseok's friend too. And he can't tell his parents, who never knew about his relationship with Minseok and, if they did know, would likely be glad it's over.</p>
<p>	So he can only carry on and hope that it's not too obvious to the people around him how much he's struggling. He thinks he's doing well enough at that until he meets his grandmother for their weekly afternoon tea. They make small talk for a few minutes before the high princess asks, "What's happened, Jongdae?"</p>
<p>	Her question catches Jongdae off guard, and it takes him a moment to respond, though his voice is steady when he does. "What do you mean?"</p>
<p>	"I've known you for nearly twenty-four years, and I have many more years experience than that seeing through royal façades. Don't think I can't see that you're unhappy. What's happened to upset you?"</p>
<p>	"It's nothing," Jongdae hedges, knowing already that it won't work. He fumbles for an appropriate lie, or a way to tell just enough of the truth to satisfy her without giving everything away, but comes up empty.</p>
<p>	"Unless it's a matter of life and death or the security of our kingdom, I won't tell a soul," the high princess says. </p>
<p>	Jongdae believes her, but he still can't bring himself to tell—and besides, wouldn't it be strange talking to his grandmother about his love life? That thought almost makes him smile, but only almost. "I'm all right," he insists.</p>
<p>	"If you won't tell me, I'll have to guess." She pauses, studying him for a moment. "Common people don't realize how often being royalty means giving up what you want, or accepting things you don't want. I know it can be difficult to have your choices taken away." Her words make Jongdae wonder if she knows all about him and Minseok already, but she could just as easily mean something else. If she does know, at least she doesn't seem to be judging him for it.</p>
<p>	Not wanting to reveal too much if she doesn't know, Jongdae only says, "Yes, it is."</p>
<p>	"The choice you do have," the high princess continues, "is to resist that fact or to make peace with it and try your best to be happy with your circumstances."</p>
<p>	Her advice is so pointed that Jongdae finds it hard to believe she doesn't know the truth, but it's probably better to pretend she doesn't and only talk in general terms. "Do you think that it's always possible to be happy with the way things are?" he asks. He's not sure if he'd prefer for her to say yes, so he can have hope, or to say no, so he can feel justified in not being able to accept his situation.</p>
<p>	"Some wounds will always sting, and some regrets will always linger. But remember that you don't need to be perfectly happy to be happy." It's good advice, but it's too soon for Jongdae to take it. As though realizing that, his grandmother adds, "It does take time, often, to make peace. But the sooner you stop resisting, the sooner you can begin to do that."</p>
<p>	<i>Not yet,</i> Jongdae thinks. He's been in love with Minseok for some four and a half years, and been determined to marry him for nearly as long. He can't accept so easily that it will never happen.</p>
<p>	"You're a good boy, Jongdae," the high princess says, as though he's still a small child. "I know you'll find your way to happiness, one way or another. Trust that, if nothing else."</p>
<p>	"Thank you, grandmother." It's not as easy as it usually would be for Jongdae to believe that, but he tries, at least. That's all he can do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	With the weather being nice, Jongdae has been taking regular walks in the garden with Baekhyun. Normally, he would enjoy them, for the scenery, the company, and simply the chance to spend time in a more relaxed setting. The past week, though, he's been too caught up in his feelings about Minseok, and about the things he said about Baekhyun, to appreciate any of it. The day after his conversation with his grandmother, he can almost hear her scolding him to at least <i>try</i> to not be miserable. That's asking a lot still, but he tries to focus on the moment more, to not get caught up in his head.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun must have noticed that something is off with Jongdae recently; for all his jokes, Jongdae's found that he's sensitive to other people's feelings. He hasn't said anything, though, making light conversation like he always does and not letting Jongdae's decreased enthusiasm slow him down. Right now, he's talking about the flowers in the castle in Sangyeong, how the winters in Gwanguk's capital are fierce, making the explosion of color when they finally end that much more thrilling.</p>
<p>	"It sounds lovely," Jongdae responds, and it's an indication of what bad company he's been lately that Baekhyun looks surprised at his positive response.</p>
<p>	"It is." Their eyes meet for a moment, and then Baekhyun quickly looks away. It's Jongdae's turn to be surprised, though Baekhyun tries to cover up his awkward reaction by rambling on with greater enthusiasm.</p>
<p>	Jongdae thinks he might have imagined it, but now that he's paying proper attention, he notices the awkward tension underlying Baekhyun's laughter, and the way he stands a little farther away from Jongdae than he used to. <i>Does he know?</i> Jongdae wonders. He might have guessed after their encounter in the bath that Jongdae and Minseok were together, but surely he has no way of knowing that they aren't now. Minseok may be friends with Baekhyun, but there's no way he'd tell him that.</p>
<p>	It's also possible that, without knowing anything, Baekhyun has noticed Jongdae's coldness this week and is reacting by withdrawing, but then he should be doing better now that Jongdae is responding with some enthusiasm. He's not, though, and that tense, uneasy feeling lingers through the rest of their walk and every other interaction from then on, impossible to miss now that Jongdae has noticed it. Even the next afternoon as they head out for sparring, when they usually manage to relax more than they do in the castle, there's a strained undercurrent that wasn't there before.</p>
<p>	Jongdae takes out his frustrations on Chanyeol in their sparring, but while he attacks with particular ferocity, his concentration is lacking and he keeps making stupid mistakes, missing easy openings or even stumbling over his own two feet. He yelps in pain when an abrupt direction change makes Chanyeol's punch that was supposed to only just touch him slam hard into his shoulder, making the guard jump back with a nervous, "My apologies, you majesty."</p>
<p>	Baekhyun and Jongin have also stopped fighting to look over at them. "Today isn't your best day," Baekhyun says sympathetically, though he still won't quite meet Jongdae's eyes.</p>
<p>	"You could say that," Jongdae mutters. He gingerly pokes his shoulder and rolls it around, but there doesn't seem to be any damage done beyond his wounded pride.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun looks like he wants to say something, but he stops, leaving an awkward silence hanging between them. It feels nearly as awkward, if only in Jongdae's mind, as when they first met, and that's frustrating. Wouldn't it just figure, he thinks bitterly, if Minseok broke up with him so he could marry Baekhyun and now Baekhyun doesn't want to be with him? It may not be that extreme, but what if finding out about Minseok killed any interest Baekhyun might have had in him? Even if it didn't, Jongdae doesn't have it in him to smooth over this awkward situation, to soothe Baekhyun's bruised ego or placate his insecurities or whatever it is he needs in this situation.</p>
<p>	"I think I must be a little too tired for sparring. Will you be offended if I bow out early?" Jongdae asks Baekhyun, managing a more princely tone this time.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun looks right at him, then up over his head, and Jongdae fights the urge to sigh. "Not at all," he says lightly, as though everything is normal. "Please get some rest."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Back in his chambers, Jongdae sits down on the couch, but he can't rest. He's not given to self-pity, but right now he wants nothing more than to wallow in it. He wishes, as he only rarely does, that he wasn't a prince, but an ordinary man who could marry who he pleases and not have the fate of so many people resting on his shoulders.</p>
<p>	<i>If you were an ordinary man, you would never have even met Minseok,</i> his more sensible side counters, <i>and you'd have enough responsibility just taking care of yourself and your family without the privilege of royalty and nobility.</i> It's the truth, but that doesn't make him feel better.</p>
<p>	He left his guards outside, but Kyungsoo is hovering the way he does when he knows Jongdae is upset but doesn't want to comment on it. One of the things Jongdae appreciates about his longtime personal attendant is that he doesn't pry, but right now, he wishes Kyungsoo <i>would</i> say something so he'd have an excuse to let out all his whirling thoughts. </p>
<p>	He stews on that for another minute or two before deciding that at least Kyungsoo won't judge him if he does talk. "What a mess everything is," he mutters. Kyungsoo turns to him, acknowledging the comment but not responding. "I don't understand why it can't be simple," Jongdae continues. "I want to marry Minseok. He wants—" He hesitates, but he still believes it's the truth when he finishes, "He wants to marry me. Shouldn't that be enough?" He rarely talks about this so straightforwardly even with Kyungsoo, whose discretion he trusts implicitly. It feels good to get it out, but bad to think about it.</p>
<p>	"Life is rarely simple, your majesty," Kyungsoo says in his low, calm voice.</p>
<p>	Jongdae resists the urge to snap at him for stating facts. It's not his fault there's no good answer. "If I can't be with Minseok, then I should at least make it worth it by marrying Baekhyun," he continues. "But I don't know what he wants. I think we could be good together, but not if he's going to behave like this. And I could try to fix it, but I don't <i>want</i> to. I just want everything to go back to the way it was."</p>
<p>	He looks at Kyungsoo as though maybe he'll have some wisdom to impart. Kyungsoo says nothing for a long time, only looks at him, before he finally says, "What is done is done. Nothing will change that. But I believe that Lord Minseok would want you to try your best, and I believe that when you can stop being angry, you will want to do that for his sake and for yours, your majesty."</p>
<p>	Trust Kyungsoo to know him far too well, after all these years. That kind of determination to be positive and make the best of his circumstances is very like Jongdae, only he's struggling to remember how to do that in this moment. "But how do I stop being angry? My grandmother told me that I need to make peace with my circumstances, but I can't right now."</p>
<p>	"One week is not a long time," Kyungsoo tells him. It almost sounds like scolding, but perfectly polite.</p>
<p>	"I know." Jongdae groans in frustration. "All right. I understand. I'll be patient. I just wish..." He doesn't finish, because there's no point, but he's thinking, <i>I just wish there was another way.</i></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Baekhyun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For two and a half weeks after he sees Jongdae and Minseok in the royal baths together, Baekhyun keeps his suspicions to himself. He might well keep quiet about it indefinitely, avoiding a difficult conversation that would put him in an awkward position for marrying Jongdae in the future, except that things have felt more and more strained with each passing day, with both Jongdae and Minseok. He and Jongdae were getting along well before, but now their interactions feel different, and Jongdae doesn't seem like himself in general. With Minseok too, Baekhyun hasn't found him in the library since he brought up marriage two weeks ago, which seems suspiciously as though Minseok is avoiding him at this point.</p>
<p>	He thinks about that the next time he attends a council meeting, his mind traveling off on tangents despite his efforts to focus on the discussion. He still sees Jongdae regularly, so he finds himself focusing on Minseok, sitting across the table from him and looking very interested in his hands. He remembers how Minseok looked in the baths with his body exposed and a high flush in his cheeks. It's not difficult to see how Jongdae would be interested in him, both in appearance and in personality; Baekhyun has also enjoyed talking to him, even though Minseok is nowhere near as comfortable with him as he is with Jongdae.</p>
<p>	On the other hand, Minseok barely said a word before the meeting, avoiding not just Baekhyun's eyes but also Jongdae's, and that confuses Baekhyun. He can understand why Minseok would be uncomfortable with him, if he's realized that Baekhyun has guessed at his relationship with Jongdae. He doesn't know why Minseok would be uncomfortable with Jongdae. Did something happen between them as a result of Baekhyun seeing them together?</p>
<p>	Ultimately, Baekhyun is a simple man. While he's had to learn to deal with palace intrigue, like any member of any royal family, he much prefers it when things are straightforward. It frustrates him to not know where he stands with Jongdae and Minseok, or even where they stand with each other. Without knowing that, how is he supposed to know the right thing to do to make his marriage with Jongdae happen—or if he even <i>should</i> make it happen when Jongdae might be in love with someone else?</p>
<p>	And, when he thinks about, it frustrates him to suspect that he's the cause of Jongdae's recent bad mood and Minseok's discomfort. They both seemed happy enough until recently, even with Baekhyun in the picture. Did he ruin all of that by catching them in the bath and exposing their secret, if only to him? He likes both Jongdae and Minseok, and as conflicted as he is about knowing—or at least strongly suspecting—that they're involved, he doesn't want to see them unhappy, or to see that relationship ruined because of him.</p>
<p>	By the end of the meeting, he's found no resolution to all of those thoughts, probably because there is no easy resolution to this situation. They all go their separate ways, and Baekhyun only watches Minseok walk away with Junmyeon for a moment before he makes up his mind to not simply stand by watching and wondering. For his sake, and maybe for Jongdae and Minseok's too, it's best to be clear about the situation. "Yixing, go ask Minseok if he'll come to my chambers for a moment. Tell him I'd like to speak to him about a private matter." </p>
<p>	His attendant hurries after Minseok, and Baekhyun makes his way to his chambers, trying to calm his unpleasantly racing heart. He doesn't know what he's so nervous about, exactly, except that once he knows the truth about Jongdae and Minseok beyond any doubt, he won't be able to unknow it. If the truth of the matter is that Jongdae doesn't want to marry him and won't change his mind, will he be able to just let it go?</p>
<p>	He only has a moment to leave his guards outside and sit down before Yixing arrives with Minseok, who looks even more nervous than Baekhyun feels. "Hello, your majesty," he says in a small voice.</p>
<p>	"Remember how you weren't going to call me that anymore when it's just the two of us?" Baekhyun manages to sound casual despite his still-pounding heart.</p>
<p>	"Hello, Baekhyun." Minseok's voice is still quiet, though a bit stronger than before. "Yixing said you wanted to speak to me about something?"</p>
<p>	"Yes. Come, sit." Minseok looks like he'd rather do anything else, but Baekhyun doesn't want him to run away. They need to have a real conversation about this, as unpleasant as it's likely to be.</p>
<p>	Reluctantly, Minseok comes over and sits at the opposite end of the couch from Baekhyun. Once he's settled, Baekhyun says, quickly before he can lose his resolve, "Forgive me for being direct about this: are you involved with Jongdae?"</p>
<p>	Minseok's reaction is more subtle than he expected, no change in his expression but sudden tension throughout his body. "W-what do you mean 'involved?'" His voice is even except for the small stutter.</p>
<p>	"I'm asking if you're romantically involved with Jongdae." Before Minseok can hedge or outright lie to him, he adds, "Please tell me the truth. I won't be angry, and...I think we've become friends, haven't we? As a friend, I hope you'll be honest with me."</p>
<p>	Minseok doesn't control his expression as well as Jongdae; Baekhyun can see that laying on the guilt worked. "Will you keep what I say a secret?"</p>
<p>	Baekhyun asked for Minseok to be honest with him, so he gives the same courtesy in return. "I may need to discuss it with my father if it interferes with our plans, but barring that, I won't tell anyone."</p>
<p>	Minseok hesitates for a moment, then nods. "It will not interfere," he says quietly, the sadness on his face and in his words telling Baekhyun what's coming before he continues, "We aren't together anymore."</p>
<p>	Jongdae's bad mood and Minseok's tension at the council meeting make much more sense in light of that, but Baekhyun has so many more questions he's not sure he wants the answers to. He feels somewhat relieved to know that he has a chance with Jongdae, but guilty about perhaps being the cause of them no longer being together. He would like to see both Minseok and Jongdae happy, but the situation is more complicated than that, with so much at stake. He doesn't say that, only says, with an implied question, "But you were."</p>
<p>	"Yes."</p>
<p>	It's clear Minseok has no intention of offering more information than Baekhyun asks for. "This happened recently?" he presses.</p>
<p>	"Yes." After a moment, Minseok adds, "One week—a week and a half ago."</p>
<p>	Being a prince has forced Baekhyun to learn to delicately skirt around topics, but given the choice, he much prefers to be direct. He thinks he can get away with that with Minseok, at least under these circumstances. "Was it because of me?"</p>
<p>	"It was, well..." Minseok sighs, and Baekhyun finds himself sorry to see him looking so dejected. "The odds were never in our favor, a prince and a minor noble. I would have given up a long time ago if Jongdae hadn't insisted that we would find a way. But now you're here, and...he should be with you. I know that, and he knows that too. He only wasn't ready to accept it yet, so I made it easier for him."</p>
<p>	"You were the one to break it off?" Minseok nods. Baekhyun is a little surprised, somehow, but when he thinks about it, it makes sense. Jongdae is very loyal, he's noticed, devoted to the people he cares about. If he's the one who pushed Minseok to stay with him despite his doubts, he wouldn't be able to now go back on his promises to find a way for them to be together. "I'm sorry." </p>
<p>	Now Minseok shakes his head. "I understand as well as anyone who isn't royalty can what it's like to be a prince. I know this isn't your fault, or anyone's, really. It's just the way things have to be."</p>
<p>	"Thank you, then," Baekhyun amends. "This can't have been easy for you."</p>
<p>	Minseok doesn't disagree. After a moment, he hesitantly asks, "Am I right in thinking that you're interested in Jongdae?" Baekhyun hasn't quite admitted that, even to himself, but he finds it surprisingly easy to nod. These feelings are all very new to him, but at this point, he can say that he does like Jongdae, not only as a friend. "Good. I'm glad. I think that Jongdae is starting to be interested in you, or at least he will be once he gives it a chance."</p>
<p>	That's gratifying to hear, despite the complicated circumstances, but Baekhyun can't think of any way to respond that won't be rubbing salt in the wound. Minseok doesn't seem to expect anything, continuing, "We were together for a long time, and so Jongdae is having a difficult time letting go. Please be patient with him."</p>
<p>	"All right." Baekhyun is not naturally the most patient person, but it's easier to wait knowing that the odds are good that Jongdae will eventually agree to marry him, and hopefully will start to like him too. He does feel guilty, but he thinks Minseok is right that this is for the best.</p>
<p>	"And please take care of him in the future." Minseok's wry smile is a little weak, but genuine. "I'll feel better about all of this knowing that you'll look after him well."</p>
<p>	"Of course." Baekhyun would like to say something to cheer Minseok up, but maybe only time will do that. It doesn't seem like he's the right person to do it, in any case. For now, he only says, "I understand if it's difficult for you too, but I hope you're not going to keep avoiding me forever. Don't think I haven't noticed that you haven't been in the library in ages."</p>
<p>	Minseok looks very young and cute with a guilty expression on his face. "You know, I usually went to the library to pass the time before meeting Jongdae, so it's not just that I'm avoiding you."</p>
<p>	"But you <i>are</i> avoiding me," Baekhyun retorts, and Minseok squirms adorably.</p>
<p>	"All right, all right. I'll be there sometimes." Minseok's expression turns more serious and he looks away as he says, "Please be patient with me too."</p>
<p>	That makes Baekhyun feel guilty again, but he's also glad that it seems like Minseok is willing to continue to be his friend despite these complications. He finds that matters to him more than he thought it would. "I will be," he promises.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Over the next few days, Baekhyun tries his best to be patient like he told Minseok he would be. He still feels very uncertain about everything, not knowing how much to push, or if he should tell Jongdae that he talked to Minseok. Will Jongdae be relieved that he doesn't have to hide the truth from Baekhyun anymore, or annoyed that they talked behind his back? Jongdae is still unusually moody, and Baekhyun doesn't know what to expect from him. It makes spending time with him every day stressful, which doesn't do wonders for Baekhyun's mood either.</p>
<p>	Soon enough, he runs out of patience. They've been dancing around this for three weeks since their encounter in the baths. It's time to clear the air and figure out where they stand from there. He walks with Jongdae back to his chambers after dinner and, thinking he can get away with being a little forward, asks, "May I come in for a moment? I wanted to ask you something."</p>
<p>	He thinks he just barely catches Jongdae tensing, but it's subtle, almost unnoticeable. His voice is smooth when he answers, "Of course," but Baekhyun would expect nothing less of a prince.</p>
<p>	Inside, Baekhyun gets right to the point. "I spoke with Minseok a few days ago." Now Jongdae definitely tenses, though his expression remains steady. "About you, and your relationship."</p>
<p>	For a long moment, Jongdae stays calm, but then he lets his emotions show on his face, a mix of worry and hurt that still seems so fresh. "Please don't be angry," he says. "I only—"</p>
<p>	"You don't need to explain," Baekhyun cuts in. He doesn't like that Jongdae and Minseok hid the truth from him and let him put his foot in his mouth on more than one occasion, but he can understand why they did. "I only wanted you to know that I know. And I won't push you, but...Minseok wanted you to give me a chance, and I hope you will."</p>
<p>	Jongdae nods, but without much feeling. "Please understand, it's...we were together for four and a half years, and I truly believed..." He trails off, looking like he regrets his words as soon as they're out of his mouth. "Forget it," he says hastily, but it's too late.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun is aware that he has a lot to measure up to. Minseok has known Jongdae his whole life, after all, and Jongdae loves him enough to want to marry him despite all the reasons he shouldn't. But knowing that and hearing Jongdae talk about Minseok, sounding so pained, are two very different things. It makes Baekhyun wonder if he's doing the right thing after all, and if he even <i>can</i> convince Jongdae to move on and agree to marry him.</p>
<p>	That makes him anxious, which is why he says, without really thinking it through, "Don't rulers in Haeguk sometimes have concubines? If you really wanted..." Baekhyun doesn't like the idea of marrying someone who is involved with someone else on the side, especially someone they love more than they'll ever love him, so he's relieved when Jongdae immediately shakes his head, rejecting his impulsive offer.</p>
<p>	"I couldn't do that. I would never ask Minseok to just be some secondary relationship." Baekhyun notices Jongdae doesn't say anything about not doing that to him, but what can he expect? Jongdae doesn't love him yet—it's too soon to be talking about love for either of them. He hopes they'll get there someday, but it will take time and willingness to accept that Jongdae will likely always have regrets.</p>
<p>	For all that he's caught up in his misery, Jongdae seems to realize after a moment what he said, and how it sounds. "Baekhyun, I..." He pauses, searching for the right thing to say. "I'm trying," he finally concludes. "If you want to, I think we can make this work, but I need time."</p>
<p>	"I understand." When he first met Jongdae, Baekhyun would have been content to hear that they can make marriage work. Now that he's realized that he wants more than just a comfortable arranged marriage from Jongdae, it's not enough, but it will have to do for now. Impulsively, he adds, "I'll be here when you're ready."</p>
<p>	Jongdae looks at him for a moment like he's realized how Baekhyun feels about him, his gaze piercing but giving nothing away about how he feels knowing that. Then he turns away and Baekhyun wonders if he misread him. "Thank you," is all he says. For now, Baekhyun will have to be content with that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Minseok</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For all that it was his choice, it's not easy for Minseok to adjust to not being with Jongdae. For years now, his life has revolved around the palace, spending his time in the library or the gardens in between council meetings and evenings with Jongdae. He didn't actually spend as much time as either of them would have liked with Jongdae, who had many other duties to occupy him, but Minseok always made an effort to be there when he was free, shaping his life around it. Now, suddenly, he feels adrift.</p>
<p>	It takes just shy of three weeks after Minseok breaks up with Jongdae for Junmyeon to ask him about it, which is honestly longer than he expected. Junmyeon loves being around people and is always asking Minseok to keep him company. Until now, in recent years, Minseok refused more often than not, which makes it suspicious when he suddenly agrees multiple times in one week to meals and other activities.</p>
<p>	"Is something wrong?" Junmyeon asks point blank over lunch. They're at his home, an almost palatial building far nicer than Minseok's own family home, alone but with enough servants hanging around that Minseok doesn't feel comfortable speaking freely.</p>
<p>	"Why do you ask?" He tries to look relaxed, as though of course nothing is wrong, but he doesn't expect it to work on Junmyeon, who knows him too well.</p>
<p>	"You've been in a mood recently," Junmyeon says bluntly, "and so has Jongdae. I can only assume that something happened." He waves away the servants, who bow and retreat out of earshot, without Minseok needing to ask.</p>
<p>	Minseok knows he can trust Junmyeon, who has been a friend to both him and Jongdae for their whole lives, but it still makes him nervous to talk about this openly. Junmyeon is a romantic, not to mention a stubborn, determined sort of person; what if he judges Minseok for giving up on Jongdae? He's already lost one of his closest friends, at least to some degree. He can't afford to lose the other, especially not at a time when he really needs a friend. Then again, he can't very well hide it from Junmyeon forever, so he reluctantly says, "We're not together anymore."</p>
<p>	He's looking down so he can't see Junmyeon's reaction, but Minseok can hear his sharp intake of breath. "Was that your choice?" he asks, sounding like he already knows the answer.</p>
<p>	"How did you guess?"</p>
<p>	"I know you both." Minseok risks a look up and finds Junmyeon's expression sympathetic, to his relief. "It must have been difficult, making that decision."</p>
<p>	It hits Minseok harder than he expects to hear Junmyeon say that, emotion sticking in his throat and making it hard to speak. He nods, not trusting his voice.</p>
<p>	"I won't force you to talk about it," Junmyeon says after a moment when Minseok stays silent, "but I thought you might want to."</p>
<p>	Minseok sighs heavily. Part of him wants to talk, and part of him wants to forget he was ever with Jongdae, to leave it all behind so he can start to move on. But he's spent three weeks not talking and it hasn't gotten any easier, so he may as well try talking. "I know I made the right decision," he says, relieved that his voice is steady, "but I hate that I had to. I hate thinking about Jongdae marrying Baekhyun and me just...going my own way, not being anything to him anymore."</p>
<p>	"You'll always be his friend," Junmyeon protests.</p>
<p>	"I know, but it's not the same."</p>
<p>	Junmyeon smiles gently, looking as though this makes him sad too. "I understand. And I'm very sorry that it turned out this way. But in the end, maybe it will be better for both of you. Jongdae can do what he needs to do without guilt, and you can find someone you can love without having to hide it."</p>
<p>	"Do you think I will?" Minseok regrets the words as soon as they're out of his mouth, sounding so pitiful.</p>
<p>	Junmyeon doesn't judge him, though, only smiles another sad smile. "You will, in time."	"And here I thought you were a romantic who would tell me I should never let go of Jongdae." It comes out just this side of bitter, making Minseok grimace.</p>
<p>	Junmyeon's sad smile stays on his face. "I would love to see you two be happy together. And who knows, maybe that will still happen, if it's meant to be. But I want you both to be happy, even if that means not being together. And I think you'll find a way."</p>
<p>	For Minseok, it's still hard to believe that, but it's comforting, at least, to hear it from someone else. "I hope you're right," is all he can say.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	One side effect of Minseok's break up with Jongdae is that he spends more time in his family home, having dinner with his parents more often than not. That's not a bad thing, since he gets along well with them, but he's sure they must notice the change and wonder why he's home instead of spending long hours in the castle like he used to. As far as he knows, they never had any idea that he was involved with Jongdae, but it's not impossible. They know him well, after all, and they've known Jongdae for many years too.</p>
<p>	In any case, they don't say anything about the change, though Minseok has a feeling that they're treating him more cautiously, as though they realize that he's upset. Nearly a month after the break up, however, Minseok's father says over dinner, "I had lunch with Lord Dongwon today."</p>
<p>	Minseok thinks nothing of the comment. Lord Dongwon is another minor noble and longtime acquaintance of his father's, though they're not close enough to be called friends. "How is he doing?" he asks, more out of politeness than curiosity.</p>
<p>	"Very well. I asked after his daughter; she's only a few years younger than you, you know."</p>
<p>	As soon as his father says that, Minseok knows what's coming. His parents have tried to set him up with the daughters of friends, friends of friends, and acquaintances many times in recent years. He can't blame them. He's well of age to be married, as his younger sister already is. It's to their credit that they've never pushed him when he demurred, but he won't be able to make excuses forever. Now that he's single for the first time in many years, he doesn't have an excuse anymore, but that doesn't mean he's ready.</p>
<p>	"Is she well?" Minseok asks, camouflaging his wariness.</p>
<p>	"Yes, thankfully." His father pauses, exchanging a glance with his mother, and Minseok is even more sure of what he's going to say. "Lord Dongwon is eager to find a promising suitor to court his daughter. He thought perhaps you might be interested." He gives Minseok a look like he expects him to say no, as he has every other time his parents suggested marriage prospects over the years.</p>
<p>	Minseok definitely doesn't feel that he's ready yet, less than a month after getting out of a four and a half year relationship. On the other hand, what excuse does he have, now that Jongdae is out of the picture? Perhaps it would be foolish to waste an opportunity.</p>
<p>	"Of course, no decision needs to be made immediately," his father hastily adds, noting Minseok's hesitation. "We only thought perhaps you might like to meet the girl, to see if she would be a good potential match." He sounds so hopeful, and Minseok feels guilty at the thought of refusing, but also guilty about saying yes to another potential relationship so soon, as though Jongdae meant so little to him.</p>
<p>	<i>You're only agreeing to meet her,</i> he chides himself. <i>Not to any serious courtship, let alone marriage.</i> It still doesn't feel right, but maybe it never will, after all those years dreaming of marrying Jongdae. If he's asked Jongdae to move on and give someone else a chance, he can only ask the same of himself. "All right." He notes how surprised his parents look that he's actually agreeing and tries to ignore how uncomfortable the thought makes him. "I'll meet her."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Minseok meets Heeyeon over dinner with both sets of parents a few days later. It's faster than he'd like this to move, but he doesn't have any good excuse to put it off. His first impression is that she's quiet, though that may have something to do with the presence of her rather overbearing father. She seems pleasant enough, though, and decently pretty and at least seemingly interested in a variety of conversation topics. Under other circumstances, Minseok might enjoy getting to know her, but it feels strange now.</p>
<p>	Nothing is decided yet, but Heeyeon's parents seem to like Minseok, aside from some subtle hints that they're wondering why he isn't married already. While Minseok's family has no more power than theirs, Minseok himself has his position on Jongdae's council, and that's enough for anyone to want a connection. Given that, there's a good chance that they'll want to go forward with an engagement, if Minseok is willing. The main question, then, is whether Minseok is willing, and he doesn't know that yet himself. He wonders how long it will take before he feels ready to move on. Maybe he never will, and waiting would mean being alone forever.</p>
<p>	The next day, Minseok has no duties in the castle, but he goes to the library to do some reading, and maybe to avoid his parents for a while. The morning is quiet, but in the afternoon, Baekhyun shows up, as Minseok thought he might. They've gone back to meeting with some regularity since they talked about the break up, and it's fine, mostly, though they talk about Jongdae much less than they used to. There's a part of Minseok that wants to hate Baekhyun for taking Jongdae away from him and for having what he can't, but instead, the more time he spends with Baekhyun, the more he likes him.</p>
<p>	Today, Baekhyun talks at length about his childhood and the trouble he caused around the castle before he grew up and became relatively responsible. Minseok is happy to sit there and let him talk, laughing at the pranks Baekhyun played on friends and occasionally his brother.</p>
<p>	"Even on the crown prince?" Minseok asks.</p>
<p>	"Crown prince or not, he's my brother. I couldn't let him off too easy."</p>
<p>	"It's a miracle you grew up so well." Minseok's comment is overly snide for talking to a prince; it seems he's gotten a little too comfortable with Baekhyun. He grimaces slightly after he says it, looking to see how Baekhyun will take it. </p>
<p>	Baekhyun only laughs, perhaps an indication that he considers Minseok a close enough friend to talk to him like that, or perhaps that's just who he is. "My brother says the same thing. I think my parents despaired for a while, but I learned to behave myself eventually."</p>
<p>	"Jongdae had his moments too, when he was younger," Minseok says, forgetting for a moment that he doesn't want to talk about Jongdae.</p>
<p>	"Oh, did he now?" Baekhyun's eyes twinkle, probably excited at having something to tease Jongdae about. "He seems so responsible."</p>
<p>	"He grew up a lot after his brother died." </p>
<p>	Baekhyun's expression turns sober. "I can imagine. I don't envy him that."</p>
<p>	There's not much Minseok could say to that, even if he didn't want to avoid the subject of Jongdae. Baekhyun only lets the awkward silence continue for a few seconds before he laughs. "We don't need to get on that sad topic. Tell me something interesting instead." At Minseok's blank expression, he prompts, "What did you do yesterday?"</p>
<p>	"I, uh, had dinner with a friend of my father's and his family," he offers.</p>
<p>	"Oh?" Minseok must be doing a bad job hiding his feelings about that dinner because Baekhyun asks, "Why do you look so awkward about it?"</p>
<p>	"It's nothing."</p>
<p>	Two or three months ago, when they were still getting used to each other, Baekhyun would have let it go, but he's clearly gotten comfortable with Minseok too. "Oh, come now. You've made me curious. I promise not to tease."</p>
<p>	Minseok hesitates. There's no particular reason he shouldn't tell, and in fact, Baekhyun would understand more than most people why Minseok is ambivalent about a potential marriage. But Baekhyun is also the only reason Minseok is even considering marrying anyone other than Jongdae, and that makes it complicated. "You won't tell Jongdae?"</p>
<p>	Baekhyun's eyebrows climb, but he answers, "I won't, I promise," without hesitation.</p>
<p>	"This family friend has a daughter," Minseok says, studying his hands instead of looking at Baekhyun. "Her father approached mine to suggest marriage."</p>
<p>	"Marriage?" Baekhyun sounds surprised by not judgmental. "Do you know the girl already?"</p>
<p>	Minseok shakes his head. "Our families aren't close. I think I met her when we were much younger, but last night was the first meeting I remember."</p>
<p>	"I suppose it makes sense for you to consider marriage now," Baekhyun comments thoughtfully.</p>
<p>	"Does it?" Minseok blurts out before he can think better of it. </p>
<p>	Baekhyun's expression is guardedly sympathetic. "I'm probably not the person you want to talk to about this, but...it's worth considering, at least, don't you think? You mentioned before that your parents haven't pushed you to get married, so I presume they're not insisting you move ahead with this too quickly."</p>
<p>	"No, it's my choice." Minseok is glad of that, at least. "It feels too soon, but maybe it will always feel too soon."</p>
<p>	Now Baekhyun looks uncomfortable, and Minseok wonders if it was a mistake to say anything. "You know, Minseok..." He pauses, weighing his words. "I hope you realize that I think of you as a friend. My only real friend in Haeguk besides Jongdae. As a friend, I'm sorry that...that things are the way they are, and I hope that you can be happy, one way or another." </p>
<p>	"Thank you." It could be grating to have Baekhyun of all people say that to him, but he's so sincere that Minseok can't be angry. "I'll try. But it feels...complicated."</p>
<p>	Baekhyun's smile is halfway to a grimace. "I'm not surprised. But you were able to make the hard decision to do what's right for Jongdae and your kingdom, and for me. I think you can figure out what's right for you too."</p>
<p>	"Can I?" Minseok tries to make it sound like a joke, but it comes out a little pathetic.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun smiles wryly. "I believe it. Maybe not immediately, but you'll get there."</p>
<p>	Minseok can't feel the same optimism, but he nods, hoping against hope that Baekhyun is right.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Two days later, Minseok comes to the castle for a council meeting. He's had one month since his relationship with Jongdae ended to get used to seeing him at these meetings, and it hasn't been easy, but they manage. They can both be professionals when there's business to focus on, and there are enough other people around to provide a buffer.</p>
<p>	Today, however, Minseok comes alone, and he doesn't realize that he's early until he walks into the room to find only one person at the table. Naturally, as luck would have it, it's Jongdae. He has his back to Minseok, but he turns to see who it is and his face falls. Jongdae is good at controlling his expression, so if he's letting his feelings show, either it's deliberate or he must be feeling too much to hide. In any case, he regains control a moment later, his expression turning carefully neutral.</p>
<p>	"Hello." Minseok bobs his head in greeting, hating that he feels so awkward with Jongdae when they used to be perfectly comfortable with each other.</p>
<p>	"Hello, Minseok." There's no reason for the sound of his name in Jongdae's mouth to hurt, but it does somehow, like another reminder of what they lost.</p>
<p>	Minseok takes a seat at the table, desperately hoping that another advisor will arrive soon and rescue them. "How have you been?" he asks politely, not knowing what else to say.</p>
<p>	"Well, thank you." Jongdae's eyes find his, and there's so much in them, hurt and frustration and affection that doesn't seem to have diminished at all in the past month.</p>
<p>	"Have you really?" Minseok asks before he can think better of it. Maybe he and Jongdae aren't together anymore, but they're still friends in his mind. Jongdae shouldn't have to pretend with him.</p>
<p>	Jongdae's mouth twists into an approximation of a wry smile. "I've been better, but I'm getting by. And you?"</p>
<p>	"The same." Minseok smiles weakly. Will it always be like this, he wonders, or will they find a way to be comfortable together again?</p>
<p>	"I miss you." Jongdae's voice suddenly goes very quiet. Then he quickly adds, "I don't mean...like that—though that as well. But I mean that I miss seeing you. It's so strange now."</p>
<p>	Minseok nods. It's strange for him too, but he doesn't know what the alternative is until they're ready to be just friends again. They were once and he was happy that way, but it seems so distant, and not enough after falling in love.</p>
<p>	"I know I'm the one who said I needed time," Jongdae continues after a while. "And I do, still, I think. I only wish..." He doesn't finish the thought. It's probably better that way.</p>
<p>	They both jump as the door opens again and Lord Kitae and Lady Ahseong come in. Minseok is relieved, in a way, to not have to respond to Jongdae when he doesn't know what to say. There are many things he wishes too, but for now, he thinks, he can only wait and hope that they'll find a way. As with everything else in his life, it seems, all he has left is hope.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Jongdae</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As difficult as everything feels right now, life goes on, and before Jongdae knows it, six weeks have passed since the end of his relationship with Minseok. He's still painfully aware of the Minseok-shaped hole in his life, still struggling to find a way to get past his feelings so that they can be friends again, but it's a little more in the background than before, like chronic pain after an acute injury that he's starting to learn to tune out. Maybe that's how it will always be, that it will keep hurting but he'll learn to live with it.</p>
<p>	It helps that Baekhyun knows, so that Jongdae doesn't have to pretend, but things are noticeably more awkward between them than they were when Minseok and Jongdae were together. By all rights, Jongdae should be able to let go now, to give into those hints of attraction to Baekhyun that he felt before and always brushed off, but he still doesn't feel ready. He's afraid he'll never feel ready, or at least not quickly enough to satisfy his mother and Baekhyun's father. They're not trying to rush them into a marriage, but they won't be willing to wait forever.</p>
<p>	There are moments when those hints of attraction are stronger, or when he finds himself enjoying time with Baekhyun and can almost imagine a future where they're married and happy together. Not many, but more and more as time goes on. Baekhyun is kind and funny and attractive, with a charming smile that makes Jongdae want to smile back. He seems like a joker, and he is, but he knows when to take things seriously too, and he genuinely cares about his family and his country—and about Jongdae too, at least as a friend. His only flaw, as a prospective husband, is that he's not Minseok, and that's unfortunately a difficult one for Jongdae to get past.</p>
<p>	But he tries, in any case, and that's all he can do. One day, he invites Baekhyun out for a horseback ride into the countryside in the afternoon. (<i>A romantic date,</i> he thinks with a hint of bitterness.) Summers are hot in Haeguk, but it's comparatively pleasant along the coast, with a cool breeze blowing off the sea. "It's beautiful!" Baekhyun calls over as they trot along on their horses.</p>
<p>	It is beautiful, with the sun sparkling on the ocean and the grass on the bluffs a brilliant green. Jongdae feels himself relaxing, in a way that makes him suddenly aware of how much tension he's been holding onto in recent weeks. The reasons for that haven't gone away, but out here, where it's just the two of them (and their guards a short distance behind), it feels easier to not think about Minseok or about the pressures to marry or the responsibilities on their shoulders. For a little while, at least, Jongdae can just enjoy himself with Baekhyun without overthinking it.</p>
<p>	They stop for a picnic dinner on the beach, and the conversation flows easily like it always does between them. Baekhyun is so enthusiastic about the scenery that it makes Jongdae laugh. "Have you never been to the beach before?"</p>
<p>	"I have, but the beaches near Sangyeong are rockier than this," Baekhyun says. "I love sandy beaches. And I've never been with such great company." He grins cheekily and Jongdae laughs again.</p>
<p>	"I am great, aren't I?"</p>
<p>	Now Baekhyun laughs and hits him, but he still says, "You are."</p>
<p>	After they eat, Baekhyun runs over to the water. "If you get wet, you'll have to ride back like that," Jongdae warns him.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun ignores him, running into the surf and sending water everywhere. "It's so hot it'll feel good. Come on in!"</p>
<p>	"No, thank you." Jongdae stands a bit back from the tideline, so the waves don't quite reach his feet.</p>
<p>	"You're no fun," Baekhyun sulks. He turns to the water and then, without warning, spins around as the next wave rolls in and splashes Jongdae right in the face.</p>
<p>	It's very like Baekhyun to do something like that, but Jongdae is the crown prince and normally no one would dare deliberately splash him. He wouldn't even think Baekhyun would dare, but maybe outside of the castle, it's easier to forget their roles and just be them. With that in mind, once he stops spluttering, Jongdae runs into the water. (He's already wet, so there's no point in holding back.) Baekhyun is bracing for a splash, but instead Jongdae tackles him, so they both fall into the water. It's a ridiculous, utterly unbecoming thing for a prince to do, especially to another prince, but it's so much fun that he can't bring himself to care.</p>
<p>	When they stand up, Baekhyun is soaking wet and laughing hysterically. "I can't believe you did that!" He looks like a wet dog, hair falling in his face and sand on his cheek and there's nothing attractive about it, but somehow Jongdae feels so free and happy that he wants nothing more than to kiss Baekhyun right now. Before he can think better of it, he clutches Baekhyun's sodden clothes with both hands, pulls him close, and kisses him. Baekhyun kisses him back immediately and Jongdae does his best to let go of everything else for the moment and enjoy it.</p>
<p>	The kiss doesn't last long before Baekhyun pulls away, making a face as he wipes his mouth. "What?" Jongdae didn't feel nervous before, but now he does. He knows Baekhyun is waiting for him to come around on marriage, but maybe this isn't what he wants.</p>
<p>	"Sand in my mouth," Baekhyun explains, grimacing, and Jongdae is so relieved that he has to laugh. Baekhyun smiles too, but there's something hesitant in his expression. "Jongdae...maybe now isn't the time, but later?"</p>
<p>	His hesitation is understandable, and Jongdae feels it too. This kiss was an impulse, an indulgence during a moment when he was able to forget about marriage and princely responsibilities—and about Minseok. Now that he thinks about that, he feels guilty and uncomfortable. Will he be able to kiss Baekhyun again in the castle, where none of the complications can so easily be forgotten?</p>
<p>	On the other hand, seeing Baekhyun uncertain when he usually seems so sure of himself makes Jongdae's heart twist. He wants Baekhyun to be happy—he wants to <i>make</i> Baekhyun happy—and surely that has to count for something. Minseok wanted him to move on, so the only thing holding Jongdae back is himself. Maybe it's time he at least started to move forward.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun is still waiting for an answer and Jongdae can't make him wait forever, so finally, he nods. "Later." He doesn't know what will happen later, but seeing how Baekhyun beams at his response, he finds himself eager to find out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Back at the castle, Baekhyun winces as he dismounts from his horse. "I need to go riding more often, it seems. My body isn't used to it."</p>
<p>	Jongdae's thighs are also protesting. "A soak in the baths might be worthwhile, after we wash off this sand." It's still too warm to really enjoy the baths, even now that the sun has set, but it should help soothe their sore muscles.</p>
<p>	"Sounds wonderful," Baekhyun says.</p>
<p>	It's not until Jongdae meets Baekhyun outside the baths that he stops to consider what going in will mean. He and Baekhyun have enjoyed the baths together a number of times, but remembering their earlier kiss and the promise of more, suddenly the nudity involved seems more significant. His discomfort must be obvious, or perhaps Baekhyun is only thinking the same thing, because he says, "I won't start anything, if that's what you're worried about."</p>
<p>	"The baths are not the place for that," Jongdae says. It only belatedly occurs to him that that could be taken as a suggestion that it happen elsewhere; he wonders if his flush is visible on his cheeks.</p>
<p>	"Especially not when it's so hot." Baekhyun's laugh is just this side of awkward, but it does help dispel the tension as they quickly undress and go into the bath.</p>
<p>	Jongdae pointedly doesn't look at Baekhyun until they're in the water, but there's no steam on a day like this and he can still see quite a bit as they sit across from each other. They sit in silence for a while until Baekhyun says, "Jongdae, I...I don't want things to be strange between us. It was good earlier, when we could relax. That's how it should be."</p>
<p>	Jongdae nods slowly, working through his feelings about Baekhyun's words and about the way their relationship is progressing. </p>
<p>	"If you want to kiss me again, I'll happily kiss you," Baekhyun continues after a while when Jongdae is silent. "But if you don't want to yet, I understand."</p>
<p>	"Thank you." It feels strange to thank Baekhyun for that, but Jongdae does appreciate his patience in this whole uncomfortable situation.</p>
<p>	Baekhyun's laughs shortly. "It's awkward if you thank me. It doesn't have to be like that."</p>
<p>	"All right, then."</p>
<p>	There's a few moments of silence that feels strained to Jongdae, but then without any sort of transition, Baekhyun starts talking about his niece's first visit to the beach, and the awkwardness fades away. "She's a lot like my brother," Baekhyun comments. "And like me too. He would jump in the water with her if it wasn't so unprincely. Her mother was horrified by it."</p>
<p>	"My brother was like that too, but he tried so hard to be the good crown prince and would scold me if I misbehaved." Jongdae smiles at the memory. In the early days after his brother died, it hurt to remember anything, but it's been over nine years now and he can appreciate those happy memories.</p>
<p>	"I can imagine that." There's something fond in the smile Baekhyun gives him. More cautiously, he says, "You don't talk about your brother much."</p>
<p>	Jongdae shrugs. "I don't avoid the subject anymore, if that's what you mean."</p>
<p>	"No, I..." Baekhyun grimaces sheepishly. "I only wondered if you deliberately don't talk to me about him."</p>
<p>	"Because you're from Gwanguk?" Baekhyun nods. "It's not like that. He didn't die in the war."</p>
<p>	"I know," Baekhyun says, "but it was around that time..."</p>
<p>	He's not wrong that the pain of his brother's death and the struggles of his sudden ascension to being crown prince are tied up with the last war with Gwanguk in Jongdae's mind, but he doesn't hold that against Baekhyun. "It was a terrible time for me," he admits, "but it's been years, and it was no one's fault."</p>
<p>	Baekhyun's smile is sympathetic. "I remember when I heard the news, thinking about how I would have felt if it was my brother..." Another grimace. "I don't know why I'm bringing this up. I just didn't want that to be something between us."</p>
<p>	Jongdae shakes his head. "It isn't. It's only that I don't talk about him much with anyone." He did with Minseok sometimes, because he was Jongdeok's friend too, but even then, not often. He doesn't want to think about Minseok, so he forcibly turns his attention back to Baekhyun. "But he's not some dark secret we can never mention. What do you want to know?"</p>
<p>	"Hm, I don't know. What was he like? I only know what I heard when I was young, which as you can imagine was not always complimentary. Did you get along?"</p>
<p>	Jongdae talks at length about his brother and their childhood together, with some prompting from Baekhyun, and he's surprised to find that he still feels relaxed, not like he did at the beach, but still more so than usual. It's comfortable talking to Baekhyun and being with Baekhyun, and he's been so caught up in his feelings about Minseok that it's been a long time since he appreciated that properly. Now that he's noticing it again, he realizes that he and Baekhyun have become that much closer, that much better together.</p>
<p>	They spend their whole time in the bath sitting across from each other, but when they get out, Jongdae thinks again of their earlier kiss and the promise of more. He doesn't speak while they put their robes back on, but as Baekhyun turns to leave, he says, "Wait."</p>
<p>	There's such hope on Baekhyun's face as he turns back around that it startles Jongdae. Is Baekhyun so eager to kiss him again? Does he like him so much already, while Jongdae has been fumbling along trying to make sense of his own feelings? Jongdae isn't there yet, but he does know that he wants to kiss Baekhyun again, because it's more than six weeks since he last did much of any kissing, and because it's Baekhyun, and he can finally admit that he is interested in him.</p>
<p>	He rests his hands on Baekhyun's shoulders and leans in and their lips meet, tentative for only a moment before they both give into it. Baekhyun's hands find his hips and their mouths open against each other and Jongdae lets himself enjoy it. Baekhyun doesn't kiss anything like Minseok, a little sloppy and just this side of overly enthusiastic, but good, and Jongdae appreciates the difference, so he can keep them separate in his mind.</p>
<p>	When they slowly pull apart, Baekhyun grins at him, wide and lazy and still with that same hopeful look. Jongdae doesn't know what to say, so he's relieved when Baekhyun only says, "Goodnight, Jongdae."</p>
<p>	Jongdae smiles back at him. There's still so much that's complicated, but in this moment, he feels simply happy. "Goodnight."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	It would be a lie to say that everything goes smoothly after that day, that Jongdae is able to let go of Minseok and just accept being with Baekhyun, but it is better. He's opened the door to the possibility of being with Baekhyun, not just in an arranged marriage but in a real relationship with attraction and maybe one day love. It's only a start, but after nearly five months of dragging his feet and approaching two months of moping over Minseok, it's a significant shift.</p>
<p>	Ten days later, as he and Baekhyun are still figuring out exactly where they stand, the queen invites Jongdae for tea. They rarely meet like this, just the two of them, particularly in the middle of the day, so Jongdae suspects that it's not a casual get together between a mother and son. The queen does start off asking how he's doing, but the talk soon turns to his council and their duties and then eventually, as he expected, to Baekhyun.</p>
<p>	"I'm pleased to see you and Prince Baekhyun getting along so well. Have you given any further thought to the possibility of an engagement?"</p>
<p>	Jongdae tries to keep what he's feeling off his face, though his mother knows him well enough to see through his controlled expression more often than not. "I've thought about it," he hedges. It seems silly to keep stalling at this point, but while he and Baekhyun are doing better together, he's quite certain that he's not ready to go as far as getting engaged yet.</p>
<p>	"Is there something holding you back?" his mother asks.</p>
<p>	<i>Surely you must know.</i> He and Minseok were cautious, but it's hard to believe the queen never noticed anything. Few things in the castle escape her notice. "There's time still, isn't there?"</p>
<p>	"There is, but your birthday is coming soon, and then mine soon after. That will be one year until you take the throne, and a good time to look to the future with an engagement."</p>
<p>	It's a fair point, as much as Jongdae doesn't want to hear it. "That's true."</p>
<p>	His mother's expression softens. "It's strange how quickly time passes, isn't it? In a matter of weeks, you'll be twenty-four, and in one more year, you'll ascend to the throne."</p>
<p>	"And you'll be fifty," Jongdae teases as a distraction, making his mother grimace.</p>
<p>	"It will happen to you too before you know it. So you shouldn't waste time." She means it as an encouragement to move forward with an engagement to Baekhyun, but instead it makes a whole host of doubts flare up within Jongdae. Is he wasting time with Baekhyun when that's not who he really wants? Did he waste too much time with Minseok? It's so hard to know what's right, and to let go.</p>
<p>	"I understand," he says, looking down. "But please give me a little longer." Soon, he won't be able to put it off anymore, but soon, he hopes, he'll finally make peace with the whole situation and no longer want to put off his engagement. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Only three days later, with that conversation still fresh in his mind, Jongdae is mingling after dinner with assorted local nobles when one of them, Lord Namgi, says, "I heard that your Lord Minseok is nearly engaged. It amazes me that it took so long for someone to snatch him up."</p>
<p>	For a second, Jongdae is distracted by how it feels good and awful at the same time to hear "your Lord Minseok," but then, he has to think about what the man is actually saying. Minseok, engaged? Of course Jongdae can't judge him for it when he's likely to be engaged soon himself, but it seems so fast when as far as he knows, Minseok had no prospects when they broke up two months ago. Did Minseok really move on already?</p>
<p>	"Lord Minseok, really? Who is he engaged to?" asks another noble, Lady Insook.</p>
<p>	"Lord Dongwon's daughter, Heeyeon. Nothing official yet, but as I understand it, it looks promising."</p>
<p>	Jongdae nods and makes appropriate noises as the two nobles discuss Minseok's potential engagement (and how he could do so much better than the insignificant Lord Dongwon's daughter), glad that they don't seem to expect much from him as he's lost in his thoughts. He's upset with Minseok for not telling him, which isn't fair, and he's angry with himself for not liking Minseok being engaged to someone else when they're not together anymore. Just as things were starting to look better, he's forced to confront how much he hasn't really let go of Minseok.</p>
<p>	He's still stewing on it as he makes his way back to his chambers. He's glad he has nothing else to do tonight but also desperate for a distraction from his thoughts, pacing frustratedly around. His guards are outside, but Kyungsoo stands by watching him inscrutably. He lets Jongdae pace for a minute or two before finally asking, "Your majesty, is something the matter?"</p>
<p>	Jongdae trusts his personal attendant without question, but it's embarrassing to be such a mess just because he found out Minseok <i>might</i> be getting engaged. "It's nothing." Kyungsoo just keeps looking at him and he doesn't last more than five seconds before bursting out, "I heard that Minseok is seeing a girl. They might be engaged soon."</p>
<p>	"Is that a problem?" Jongdae can read between the lines of Kyungsoo's question: <i>That shouldn't matter to you anymore, not like this.</i></p>
<p>	"He's allowed to marry someone, if he wants to. I only...I didn't think it would happen so soon. I thought..." <i>I thought that he would be struggling too, like me.</i></p>
<p>	"Lord Minseok is seeing a girl, and you are seeing Prince Baekhyun. Is that not as it should be?" Kyungsoo's words are politely delivered but blunt, as usual.</p>
<p>	Jongdae can't argue with that, as much as he wants to. "I wish..." What use are wishes at this point? He wished for so long that he could figure out a way to marry Minseok, and it never worked out. He has to let that go—after all, if Minseok is moving on, he has no excuse to hold out—but it's not easy at all. </p>
<p>	"Nothing has happened yet, your majesty," Kyungsoo points out. "It may be months before Lord Minseok is engaged. You may be engaged as well by then.</p>
<p>	Jongdae sighs heavily. "You're right. I know this is how it's supposed to be. But I'm not ready for us to be married to other people. And I don't know if Minseok..." He doesn't want Minseok to be hurting like he is, but he also doesn't want to believe that it was so easy for Minseok to move on from him.</p>
<p>	Kyungsoo studies him for just long enough to make Jongdae squirm. "Lord Minseok is practical," he finally says. "He is likely doing what he feels is necessary." <i>It's not because he didn't love you,</i> something Kyungsoo would never say out loud, is implied.</p>
<p>	That makes sense, but it still only does so much to make Jongdae feel better. Will he ever stop being frustrated that this is the way things have to be? "Life isn't fair," he mutters.</p>
<p>	"No, it is not," is all Kyungsoo says.</p>
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